Meet Resident Evil
by rockof90
Summary: Bloopers from when characters first met each other in the main RE games (new chapters in progress)
1. Claire Meets Sherry

_Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil_

Claire saw a little girl running around in the mayor's art room. The girl quickly darted into another room. Claire followed her only to find it was dark. She turned on the light and saw the girl sitting down in a corner. The girl got up and attempted to run past her.

Claire quickly grabbed her and yelled, "I'M GOING TO EAT YOU!"

The girl cried and struggled harder to get away from her. Claire frowned.

"Geez, I'm kidding!" Claire exclaimed, "What's a girl gotta do to get a laugh around here?"

The girl calmed down, but still looked terrified at the sight of Claire.

"It's okay sweetie, come here," Claire attempted to assure her. The girl was reluctant, so Claire growled, "come here!"

The girl whimpered and latched onto Claire. Claire's radio beeped, so she answered it.

"Leon, come in," she said, "I found the girl."

"Excellent," Leon said, "I'll meet you in the sewer."

"Over and out," Claire said as she clicked the off button.

The girl let go of her and asked, "Who was that?"

"Oh, that's just Leon," Claire answered, "he's a pedophile: you'll be staying with him."

The girl's eyes got big and Claire leaned in on her, "now Sherry-"

"HOW'D YOU KNOW MY NAME!" Sherry exclaimed.

Claire's eyes got big as well, "um, you told me, didn't you?"

"NO!" Sherry answered in a panic. Claire rubbed the back of her neck.

"So, um...what's your name?" Claire asked.

Sherry began to look very annoyed, and answered, "Sherry."

"Sherry huh?" Claire asked as Sherry rolled her eyes, "what a pretty name for a little girl. So Sherry, where are your parents?"

"They work at the Umbrella Chemical plant," Sherry answered.

"The Chemical plant?" Claire asked, "then what are you doing here?"

"Well," she answered, "my mom called me and said it was too dangerous to stay at home."

*FLASHBACK*

A large group of kids gathered in a small, two-story home. Loud music and hollers filled the air. The phone rang, and Sherry quickly answered it.

"Dis is da Birkin house, dawg," she answered in a very ghetto accent.

"Sherry?" her mom asked on the other line.

Sherry quickly cleared her voice and signaled the other kids to keep it down.

"Oh, hi mom," she said, trying to act very casual, "why are you calling?"

"I'm calling because it's not safe for you to be at home."

"What do you mean?" Sherry asked, being very confused.

"Well, there's these creatures going around terrorizing Raccoon City."

"Hold on," Sherry said as she put the phone down, "HEY! DON'T LET RICKY AND HIS BUDS OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

Sherry brought the phone back up to her ear, "don't worry mom, it's been taken care of."

"Huh?" her mom asked, "no, I mean real creatures. Like, zombies."

"Zombies? Are you sure they're not just kids who are high or-" Sherry stared at her friends, who were drinking heavily, "drunk?"

"No sweetie," her mom assured, "they're going around eating people. I need you to walk down to the police station where it's safe."

"Oh yeah," Sherry said, very sarcastically, "let me leave my home and walk all the way across town, which is filled with evil monsters, by myself, unarmed, and get to the police station. Yeah, great idea mom, you're so smart!"

"Thanks," her mom said, not catching onto her sarcasm, "I know." Her mom hung up.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Claire stared at Sherry as she had listened to her story. She didn't know what to say.

"Um, okay sweetie," Claire finally said, "now, let's try to get out of here."

"No!" Sherry yelled in protest.

"What's the matter?" Claire asked, "are you stupid?"

Sherry shook her head, "it's not that. My dad is chasing me. He saw my report card earlier, and I got an F in science."

"Ohh, I'll bet he's pissed!" Claire said as her eyes grew.

Then, they heard somebody call out Sherry's name.

"Oh shit! It's him!" Sherry yelled as she ran out.

"Wait, Sherry!" Claire called after her.

_A/N: As you can already tell, these chapters will probably not be in order. However, I will try to include all introductions from the main RE games. Feel free to review._


	2. Leon Meets Ada

Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil

Leon walked into the basement level of the RPD parking lot. As he went on his way to get towards the end, he heard a gun go off. He quickly turned around and saw a skinny woman with short black hair in a red dress outfit. The woman put her gun down as she got a better look at him.

"Sorry about that," she apologized as she walked up to him, "but when I saw the uniform I thought you were another zombie."

"There's zombies!?" Leon asked as she brushed past him.

The woman turned around and stared at him, as if he were a complete moron. She decided to ignore his comment, and introduce herself.

"My name's Ada, Ada Wong."

"So, are you like, Chinese?" he asked.

Ada continued to stare at him.

"Sorry," Leon apologized, "you must not know English. Um, cho sun--"

"I'm not Chinese," Ada said sternly.

"Oh...," Leon said, "...so...you, like sesame chicken?"

Ada stared at him and refused to acknowledge his question. She sighed and walked towards a truck blocking a door. Leon followed her.

"I'm looking for this guy named Ben," Ada said, "he's one of those reporter types, always looking for a scoop. I heard he was locked up in a cell block, only there's a wrecked car blocking the entrance. I've been trying to find another way inside."

Ada leaned up against the truck as Leon stared in confusion.

"Do you think this is the entrance?" he asked.

Ada stared at him again, but quickly looked away.

"If we work together, we can move this thing. Give me a hand here, will you?"

Leon walked up to the truck and shoved it with Ada's help. After about an hour, the truck was finally out of the way. Leon wiped the sweat off his forehead as they walked through the door.

"So, you wanna go out for dinner sometime?" Leon asked, "I know this great Sushi bar--"

Ada quickly ran off down the hall.

"Ada wait!" Leon yelled, "geez, what's her problem?"

_A/N: Just to clarify things, I was not in any way implying that Leon is racist, I was just making fun of his slow tendencies. Feel free to review._


	3. Jill Meets Carlos

_Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil_

_Sorry for the long wait. I've had a bit of writer's block for this series, which I hope will end soon. Read and enjoy. _

Jill walked down the street looking for a place to hide from the creature who was stalking her. She looked all around and saw broken cars, fire, and buildings that had been broken into.

"This district's really improved," she muttered.

She saw a nearby restaurant and decided to waltz in. As she walked by the counters, she heard something. She pulled out her gun.

"Who's there?" she yelled as she fired a shot.

"Geez lady!" a tan-skinned guy said as he stood up, "I'm not a monster! My name's Carlos, what's yours?"

"Jill," she answered, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I thought it was a nice day, so I'd go shopping—I'M HERE TO KILL SOME MONSTERS!"

"You don't have to be so rude," Jill snorted.

"Look lady," Carlos said, "I'm here with Umbrella's army to rescue civilians."

"Good job," Jill said sarcastically.

At that moment, they heard the front door open and slam shut. They turned around and saw Nemesis standing in the doorway.

"No way!" Jill exclaimed, "how did he find me?"

*FLASHBACK*

Jill walked around town looking around for zombies or civilians. Little did she know that Nemesis was nearby. Jill's cell phone rang and she answered it.

"Hello? HEY CHRIS! How's Europe?"

Nemesis decided to eavesdrop on her conversation since a large wall of broken cars was blocking his access to her.

"Oh," Jill continued to talk, "I'm gonna head over to Denny's…the one by the bookstore…the one with the American flag in it…the one on Elm street…"

Nemesis pulled out a notepad and began jotting down some notes.

"Look Chris, there's only one Denny's. Listen, there's a big scary monster chasing me, so I should go hide. Alright, bye."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Come on!" Carlos yelled as he pointed to the opened latch door in the ground.

Jill walked over and looked down, realizing that it was covered in water.

"EWW! I'M NOT GOING DOWN THERE!"

"STARS!" Nemesis yelled as he ran over towards her.

Jill screeched as Carlos had already began climbing down.

"CATCH ME!" Jill screamed.

Jill jumped in, oblivious to the fact that Carlos was still on the ladder. She landed face-flat in the water. She coughed as she lifted her head.

"Why didn't you catch me!" Jill asked angrily.

"Shut up!" Carlos yelled, "at least we're safe down here."

"STARS!" Nemesis yelled as he placed a hose into the hole. He twisted a knob on the wall and water shot out of the house full-blast.

"No!" Jill yelled as water began filling up the room, "I wanted to die eating a sandwich!"

"Hold on!" Carlos yelled, "I found a hole, let's climb out!"

Jill followed him out as the room became half-full of water. Both the survivors panted as they realized the hole had led to an empty alley.

"That was too close," Jill panted, "so wait, you work for Umbrella's Army?"

"That's right," he replied, "the U.S. army turned me down, and the Navy, and McDonalds, so I joined up with Umbrella! I'm here to kick ass and save civilians!"

"That's hypocritical," Jill said, "Umbrella started this whole thing!"

"Look lady, I don't care who started it. As long as I get a paycheck, I'm all good. You don't look like you're doing too good with your night job, so why don't you join us?"

"Night-night jo-did you just call me a hooker?"

Carlos rubbed the back of his neck, then ran off.

"Think about it!" he yelled.

_A/N: I may make another one of these in which Jill chooses the 'Hide in Kitchen' scenario, but I'm not sure. What do you think? Anyway, feel free to leave a review._


	4. Claire Meets Alfred

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks for the reviews everybody. I didn't expect people to like my story so much. Anyways, read and enjoy._

After rescuing Steve's lazy butt, Claire left the hallway and went back into the entrance way to leave the island headquarters.

"God," she muttered, "if I run into another whiny-girly boy I'm going to kill myself!"

After walking into the room, she spotted a red dot on her leg. The dot moved up her side until it rested on the center of her forehead. She looked up at the stairs and saw someone standing there.

"_Is that a man or a woman?_" she thought, too preoccupied to jump out of the way.

She jumped behind a nearby column when she heard a trigger being pulled.

"Thank God I'm faster than a bullet," she panted.

"Dammit!" a feminine British man yelled from the top of the stairs, "I thought I told you I wasn't interested in any cookies!"

"I have no idea what you're babbling about," Claire said.

"Don't lie!" Alfred yelled, "your people have been ragging on me for the past month and I'm sick of it! Honestly, how many girl scouts do I have to kill before they stop sending them here?"

"Huh?" Claire said, "I'm not with the Girl Scouts."

"You don't fool me!" the man yelled as he formed a pose, "I am Alfred Ashford!"

"Oh my God, THE Alfred Ashford!" Claire asked.

Alfred stopped and stared in her direction.

"You-you've heard of me?"

"Oh God yes!" Claire replied, "I am SUCH a big fan of yours! I have been studying you for years. I absolutely LOVE your work! Don't change a thing!"

Alfred turned away and blushed, "Well, I am rather-"

"SUCKER!" Claire yelled as she stood at the front door, "I don't know you!"

Claire opened the door and quickly ran outside.

"Grr! Curse her and her mastery skills!" Alfred yelled as he accidentally shot off his rifle. The sound of glass shattering came from the other room.

"Grr! Now look what she made me do! I swear, on the life of my broken window and undead sister, that girl will pay!"

_A/N: Sorry this was so short, but the meeting with Alfred was rather short itself. I always figured Claire was so confused by Alfred's appearance that it caused her to forget about the target on her forehead (seriously, why did she wait so long to move?). Feel free to leave a comment or partake in my new poll on my profile._


	5. Ada Meets Annette

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks for the reviews everyone. I'm trying really hard to make this a weekly update story, but I have a lot of school work going on right now, so I can't make any promises. Anyway, read and enjoy._

Ada climbed down from the giant vent shaft with bugs crawling all over her. She cursed as she hopped off the ladder and brushed them off. She continued to walk down the walk-way, but noticed a woman and stopped.

The woman stood at the end of the path, watching her as she held onto a gun. Ada continued to stand around, to see what the woman would do. After about ten minutes, Ada finally decided to take a step forward, and the woman shot at her.

"Don't move!" the woman warned as she held up her gun and approached her, "Identify yourself."

"Ada Wong," she answered.

"Ada Wong," the woman pondered, "where have I heard that name before?"

"We met last year at the Christmas party," Ada reminded her. Annette shook her head.

"I was there with John?" Ada continued, trying to get her to remember, "you were with William and Sherry? We all went to Chili's the weekend after? That summer we went to Six Flags? I went to your sister's baby shower, and we joked about her naming her boy Harold?"

"No," Annette dismissed, shaking her head, "that can't be it."

Ada stared at Annette in disbelief, "Are-are you high right now?"

"No Mr. Pork Cow," Annette ranted, "I don't want any eggs."

Ada stared at Annette in confusion. There was an awkward silence.

"Would you like to hear my life story?" Annette asked.

"Um, I really should be go--" Ada was cut off by Annette.

"My husband has become a monster."

"Alcohol?" Ada asked curiously.

"G-Virus," Annette corrected, "and it's all Umbrella's fault. If they hadn't tried to take his G-Virus, none of this would've happened!"

"Um, seriously," Ada insisted, "I should go."

*FLASHBACK FROM ANNETTE'S POV*

"Ugh," William groaned as he stood in his dark lab, "it sure is hard to see in here. Maybe I should turn on some lights….no, there's no time for that. I must admire my, precious G-Virus."

William opened a case and took out a vile filled with a purple substance. He smiled as he held it close to him.

"They say our love is wrong, they don't understand. Don't worry, they will never take you from me."

The lab door opened and several armed men in protective, armored uniforms entered the room.

"FREEZE!" they ordered, holding up their guns. William held his gun up to them and grabbed his case with his left hand.

"I've been expecting you," William said smoothly.

"If you knew we were coming, why didn't you leave?" HUNK asked.

William didn't say anything, but continued to back away. He accidentally bumped into a canister, causing it to fall to the ground. One of them shot at him mercilessly, causing him to fall to the ground also.

"STOP!" HUNK ordered, "you might hit the sample!"

"The sample!?" William yelled, "what about me!? I'm a human being!"

"Fine," HUNK growled at the other men, "don't shoot him again!"

HUNK bent over and grabbed the briefcase from William.

"Alright," HUNK ordered, "let's move out!"

"But HUNK," one of them asked, "what if he uses that G-Virus in his hand to turn himself into a monster?"

"Oh come on," HUNK asked them as they left the room, "what are the odds of _that _happening?"

Annette whistled blissfully to herself as she walked down the hallway towards her husband's lab. She smiled and waved at a group of elite Umbrella soldiers walking around.

"Good evening ma'am," HUNK greeted.

"Good evening," Annette greeted back, then muttered to herself, "what nice men."

Annette gasped in horror as she entered her husband's lab. She spotted William lying on the floor.

"Oh William!" she cried, "you're hurt. Who could've done this!? I'm gonna go get help. Stay here!"

"Annette!" William called as she ran out, "there's a first aid kit in the back! Come back, wait!"

William sighed and cursed under his breath. He looked down at his left hand, noticing he still had the G-Virus. He injected it into himself, and the mutation began to take place.

The soldiers walked around in the sewers laughing and telling jokes (except HUNK, who was far too serious for such…things). Little did they know that the monster formally known as William was sneaking up on them to take it's revenge. He screamed and drew out his claws. The men screamed and ran off.

One of them men ran smack into a pole and fell unconscious into the water. HUNK took off running down the hall.

"SUCKERS!" he yelled as the other men stared in disbelief.

William roared and the remaining men turned around and screamed. William slashed one of them in the chest. Another man got out his gun and shot at William. After seeing that the bullets had no effect on him, he turned the gun on himself and fired. The final man huddled down in a corner, shaking as William approached him.

"Remember how I said I'd kill you last?" William asked the man.

"N-no," the man replied, "you didn't even talk to me."

There was a brief moment of awkward silence, until William decided to finally stab the man in the chest with his claws.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Wait a minute," Ada asked, "if you were out getting medical supplies, how did you know that all that happened?"

"Well, I got hungry and went into the security room for a burrito," Annette replied, "and I saw the fight on the security cameras."

"Wow," Ada observed, "you're a terrible wife."

"I know," Annette admitted. Suddenly, Annette looked closer at Ada, and noticed a golden locket around her neck, "Wha—that looks like the one I stole--I MEAN BOUGHT--for my daughter. Where did you get it?"

"Well, you see--" Ada began to reply.

"LIAR!" Annette yelled, "GIVE IT BACK TO ME!"

Annette reached for the locket, but Ada tried pushing her away. The struggled and pushed against each other until Ada had enough and slapped her across the face. Annette stumbled backwards and bumped into the rail.

"Wow," Annette gasped, looking down at the long drop, "that was a close one."

Suddenly, the rail broke, sending Annette backwards down into the screamed for about five minutes, until she was cut off by a loud splash. A wave of water shot up and hit Ada, getting her soaked to the bone.

"Ugh!" she groaned, "my hair is ruined! I'm gonna steal her gun!"

Ada bent over and picked up the gun Annette had dropped, then muttered, "that'll learn her."

_A/N: Wow, that was way longer than the other chapters. I always thought Annette seemed kind of stoned in the game, and how did she not notice the Umbrella soldiers leaving William's lab? Anyway, tell me what you think by submitting a review or partaking in my new poll on my profile page._


	6. Leon Meets Claire

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, I'm sorry

_Yeah, I know I've been doing a lot of intros from Resident Evil 2, but this one was just too easy! Forgive me; I hope you will still enjoy this._

*IN THE CITY*

Leon sped down the road in his jeep jamming out to Guns 'N Roses and eating a sandwich. A woman stood in the middle of the road. Leon was paying no attention to the road and hit her. Only when he heard a loud thump and his windshield smash did he stop the car. He slowly got out and saw a woman lying in the middle of the road.

"Oh crap, not again!" he panicked as he ran over to her, "excuse me ma'am, but I think we should exchange insurance information. You really did some damage to my car. Ma'am, are you even listening to me!"

The woman continued to lie on the ground, unresponsive, causing Leon to become very frustrated.

"Ma'am, you see my hood? That's not just gonna buff out! And look what you did to my headlight!"

*OUTSIDE DENNY'S*

Claire strolled down the street on her motorcycle. She stopped and looked up at the building beside her.

"Ah, I'm finally here," she said with a smile, "Grand-Slam, here I come!"

She put down her kickstand and climbed off.

*OUTSIDE A GAS STATION*

A truck driver was yelling and cursing from inside his cab as crows began to flock nearby.

"I'M TELLING YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" he yelled. Right after that, a man was thrown out through the window. The man simply moaned and stood back up.

"That guy's a maniac!" the trucker muttered to himself, then covered up his arm, which was bleeding, "that's the last time I date a cannibal!"

The trucker sped off as the guy slowly attempted to follow him.

*BACK IN THE STREETS*

Leon continued to yell at the unresponsive woman. Then, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw a crowd of zombies approaching him.

"STONERS!" he yelled as he held up his gun, "Don't move!"

The woman he had hit suddenly grabbed his leg.

"Mister, I need a doctor! Mister-" the woman was cut off when Leon panicked and shot her in the head.

Leon ran past his vehicle he was too stupid to escape with and headed towards a building near an alleyway.

*INSIDE DENNY'S*

Claire looked around and saw dead waiters laying on the ground covered in blood.

"Ugh," she grumbled, "sleeping on the job! Is there anyone here who's not a complete bum?"

She looked around the restaurant and saw nobody around. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a man sitting a table chewing on something. She looked closer and realized it was a human arm!

"Hey mister, can I have some?" Claire asked.

The zombie turned around and gazed at her. Claire's eyes grew large as she attempted to back away.

"Look, I'm sorry I bothered you. Please go away, okay!"

Claire backed into the window heard noises behind her. She turned around and saw a bunch of guys drooling and gazing at her.

"Geez, I know I'm hot, but damn!" she commented.

She ran past the zombie who was stalking her and towards a door in the back. She opened it and saw a cop holding a gun.

"Wait, don't shoo-"

Claire was cut off by Leon firing his gun. Claire quickly ducked and the bullet hit the zombie behind her. She looked up at him, and he held out his hand to help her up.

"Come with me if you want to live!" Leon said.

Leon and Claire both ran out of the diner and saw more zombies slowly approaching them. Leon looked across the street and saw a cop car.

"There!" he yelled, "Hurry, before they catch us!"

The duo bolted for the car as the zombies moved towards them at a snail's pace. They got inside, started up the car, and sped off.

"What's going on!" Claire demanded to know, "I arrived here just a while ago, and the whole place went insane!"

Leon paid her not attention and fiddled with the radio.

"Great!" he grumbled, "the radio's out! All we get is the country station."

"So, are you a cop?"

"Yeah, first day on the job. Great, huh? I knew I should've applied at McDonalds. My name's Leon Kennedy."

"Mine's Claire Redfield. I'm looking for my brother Chris."

"I don't mean to be a downer," Leon commented, "but he's probably dead. Hey, check inside that glove compartment, there's a gun inside."

"Um, how would you know that?" Claire asked, "this isn't your vehicle."

Leon stopped talking, and turned the radio up on full blast. The sound of Garth Brooks filled the car. Claire ignored him and checked. Surely enough, a gun was inside.

"Wait a minute," Claire said, checking it, "this is a water-gun."

At that moment, a zombie popped out from the back seat. Leon and Claire screamed in unison and the car swerved. Within seconds, the car hit a pole, causing the zombie to fly through the windshield.

"Oh man," Leon panted, "I need to learn to check the vehicle before getting in."

Claire turned around and saw a semi-truck coming their way.

"What's that idiot doing! He's gonna ram us!" Leon screamed.

*INSIDE THE TRUCK*

The trucker was on his cell phone talking to somebody.

"Hey Betsy, I just broke up with Tom. I found out he was a guy."

*BACK TO LEON AND CLAIRE*

Leon and Claire quickly jumped out of the vehicle as the truck rammed into the car. Gas poured out from the truck, causing a large explosion. The duo screamed as they realized that the flames had separated them.

"LEON!" Claire yelled.

"CLAIRE!" Leon yelled back, "I'LL MEET UP WITH YOU AT THE POLICE STATION!"

"OKAY!" Claire yelled back.

"He he he, sucker!" Leon muttered to himself.

*INSIDE THE BURNING TRUCK*

"Betsy, I gotta go. My truck is on fire and I'm burning to death. Bye!"

_A/N: Alright, I will start working on some intros from the other games, I promise! Leave me a review and tell me what you thought about this chapter or the story so far. Thank you._


	7. Rebecca Meets Billy

Disclaimer: Don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks for the reviews everybody! I already have another chapter in progress, so you can expect another update pretty soon. As always, read and enjoy._

Rebecca examined a dead man closely, who was hunched over on the floor; not responding. She pushed him gently at first, then began shaking him violently.

"Hello!" she yelled, "wake up sleepy-head!"

She continued to do this, oblivious to the fact that a man was creeping up behind her. The man pulled out his gun and pointed it at her. Rebecca turned around and faced him as she slowly got up.

"Billy," she said, "Lieutenant Coen."

"So, you seem to know me," he asked, "have you been stalking me?"

Rebecca shook her head nervously, "Who? Me? Nah—you're crazy! He he he!"

"Been fantasizing about me have you?" he asked with a smirk.

"WHO TOLD YOU!?" she demanded.

Billy's eyes grew large as he slowly backed away.

"Weren't you being transferred for execution?" she asked.

"Uh……no," he lied.

"Oh, ok----WAIT A MINUTE!" Rebecca said as he tried to run off. She chased after him and yelled, "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"

"No thanks," Billy said as he held up his left wrist, which had cuffs on them, "I've already got hand-cuffs."

"_Darn!_" Rebecca thought, "_he already arrested himself!_"

"Well, I could uh…shoot you!" she yelled as he continued to walk off.

"Go ahead!" he yelled.

"I WILL!" she yelled as he left, "Drat! I really should've done something to stop him! Oh well, I just have to hope he doesn't kill anyone else."

Suddenly, the battered body of her team-mate Edward flew through the window.

"OH NO! HE KILLED ANOTHER ONE ALREADY!" she yelled.

She quickly ran over to her team-mate, who was bleeding excessively.

"HOLD ON!" she said as she dug through her bag, "I'll find you some herbs----oops, we're out."

Edward groaned as he looked up at her.

"Be careful Rebecca," he warned, "the woods are filled with zombies---the mansion as well. Whatever you do, don't go inside the mansion. And especially don't go in another creepy building."

Edward groaned as he fell over; dead. Rebecca leaned over her bag and began to cry. Suddenly, something caught her eye and she grabbed something from her bag.

"_Oh!_ Here are the herbs!"

_A/N: Sorry this was so short. I always wondered why Rebecca didn't try to heal Edward---she was supposedly a master of medicine making. Anyways, feel free to leave me a review._


	8. Chris Meets Rebecca

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, nor will I ever.

_Thanks again for the reviews everyone! I admit, when I first started this fic, I wasn't sure if it was something I was going to stick with. However, you have all been so great, that I decided it was worth continuing. You guys are the best, seriously! Well, here's another chapter that I hope you will all enjoy._

Chris ran down the hall with his hands between his legs, desperately searching for a bathroom.

"Man oh man!" he whined, "I shouldn't have had that water drinking contest with Wesker!"

He placed his hand on a nearby doorknob and turned it.

"I sure hope this is a bathroom!" he fumed.

He opened the door, only to have a peppery substance sprayed in his face. He quickly covered his eyes and screamed.

"GAH!" a tiny female yelped, "I'M SO, SO SORRY!"

"Look what you did!" Chris scolded, "my eyes are burning, and I wet myself!"

"I'm sorry!" the girl apologized again, "it's just that there was this creepy man around here earlier trying to hook up with me. He said he wanted to make a Becky sandwich."

Chris stared at the girl with great concern.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. My name's Chris," he said with a smile, "where are your parents?"

"I'm not a kid," she giggled, "I'm from the B.R.A.V.O. team."

"SAY WHAT!?!" Chris exclaimed, not believing what he heard.

She nodded, "that's right. I'm Rebecca, Rebecca Chambers."

"Chambers 'eh?" Chris asked with a grin, "mind if I visit your bed chambers?"

"Ugh!" she grunted, "why is everyone hitting on me!? First Billy, then that guy--"

"Whoa whoa, hold on a sec," Chris stopped her, "Billy?"

Her eyes got big as she quickly covered her mouth, "Oops! Did I say Billy? I meant to say, um…Jill!"

"Uh…works for me," Chris said with a shrug, "so how'd you get here? Where's everyone else?"

Rebecca's eyes twitched, as she remembered the events that had unfolded earlier. The sight of the crash, the zombies, her team-mates being killed, and the leech monster unfolded before her eyes again. Chris waved his hand in front of her face.

"Hello? Are you alive in there!?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry!" she apologized, "I've just…been through a lot tonight…he he…_A LOT_!"

There was an awkward silence as Chris rubbed the back of his neck.

"Weren't you guys on a chopper?" Chris asked, "what happened to it?"

"We had to make a forced landing, because there was a malfunction," Rebecca answered.

*FLASHBACK*

Rebecca and her team-mates sat in the chopper trying to pass the time.

"Okay okay," Richard said, "I spy something…green!"

"Trees?" Rebecca asked as she pointed to the forest out the window.

"YES!" Richard cheered, "you're good at this game!"

Edward shivered and coughed.

"It's cold up here," he commented, "I'm turning off the fan."

Before his team-mates could ask what he meant, he turned off the power to the helicopter blades. They screamed as the chopper stopped in the air and began to fall. They continued to wail as the chopper crashed and rolled over on the ground. After about ten minutes, it finally came to a stop.

"What were you thinking!?" Enrico yelled at Edward as they climbed out, "why didn't you just zip up your jacket!?"

"Sorry," he muttered as the rest of the team glared at him.

"Never mind that," Enrico snarled, "let's try and catch up with the others. Hopefully nothing else will go wrong."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"And later," Rebecca continued, "we saw this mansion and decided to come inside."

"I see," Chris said as he nodded, "that's okay, there's nothing else you could've done. You did the right thing."

"Yes sir," Rebecca said as she saluted him. Chris frowned.

"Don't do that," he said, "it makes you look stupid."

"Yes sir," Rebecca said, saluting him again. Chris continued to frown.

"Just…just nevermind."

"Say," Rebecca said, "if you're leaving to go find the others, can I come with you?"

Chris looked at her and smiled, "alright, let's do it!"

"Ok," Rebecca said, "but I have to make something, so you can go on ahead."

"Whoa whoa, back up!" Chris said with a frown, "you ask if you can tag along, yet you can only leave when it's convenient for you!? That is just rude! Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners!?"

"I-I--," Rebecca stuttered.

"You know what? Just forget it! You can get out of here on your own!"

Chris opened the door, and turned back to give her a quick glance.

"Later!" he said upon slamming the door shut. Rebecca stared in disbelief

"I was just going to mix some herbs," she muttered.

_A/N: Poor Rebecca, she had to deal with all of that stuff; I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up in therapy after the incident. Feel free to leave a review._


	9. Leon Meets Ashley

Disclaimer: Resident Evil is not nor will ever be mine, ever

_Thanks for the fabulous reviews everyone! Sorry for the long wait. I almost posted a fake chapter for yesterday…almost; but I didn't want ya'll to hate me. Anyway, here's the new chapter; so read, and enjoy._

Leon slowly turned the knob and opened the door. He peeked in and struggled to see the room because of the lack of lighting. Suddenly, he saw a preppy looking girl dart across the room.

"ASHLEY!" he called as he entered the room.

"NO!" she screamed as she grabbed a piece of wood, "GET AWAY!"

Leon took another step forward and she threw the board at him. Leon fell back as the wood hit him in the face.

"OW!" he yelled, "DAMMIT! TAKE IT EASY!"

"NO!" Ashley protested again as she picked up a wooden barrel.

Leon's eyes grew large as she hurled the barrel at him. Leon yelled in agony as it knocked the wind out of him. Ashley ran into a corner as Leon struggled to get back up.

"CHILL OUT! I'M HERE TO RESCUE YOU!" Leon yelled.

Ashley looked at him and put down the battle ax she was picking up in the corner. Leon smiled as he approached her.

"My name's Leon," he introduced himself, "I'm under the president's orders to rescue you."

Ashley grinned and got up in his face. Leon got nervous and backed away a bit.

"What?" she asked, "my-my father!"

"Your father is the president of Mexico, right?" he asked.

Ashley frowned, "no, he's the president of the United States."

Leon frowned and stood back up, "oh. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

Ashely's eyes grew large as he got up to leave the room.

"NO! WAIT!" Ashley yelled as she began to cry, "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!"

Leon started to laugh as he turned back around.

"April fools!" he cheered, "I really am here on behalf of the U.S."

Ashley frowned as Leon continued to laugh, "DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Geez," Leon snorted, "I was just kidding! God, get a sense of humor!"

"Ugh, I'm sorry," she apologized, "can we just go now?"

"Fine," Leon groaned, "let's get out of this dump….what you were doing in Spain anyway?"

"I heard they had some good dope here," she replied, "did you _see_ the villagers? Now that's some good shit they're on!"

_A/N: Sorry this was so short. Of all the places to visit during break, why on Earth would she choose to go to Spain? Surely she would want to go someplace tropical and really warm and close by. Anyhow, feel free to leave a review._


	10. Jill Meets Nicholai & Mikhail

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks for the excellent reviews everyone! I hope you all had a good Easter and/or Passover. I'm still trying to finish off all the candy I got. Anyway, here's another chapter to keep you entertained._

After dodging the various zombies, explosions, and other Umbrella creatures in the city, Jill had finally made it onto the train. She sighed in relief as she got inside, and saw a white-haired man approach her.

"You're one of the survivors from the rescue team, right?" she asked, "I just ran into your team-mate, Carlos."

"Really?" the man asked, "I'm so sorry. Did he touch you?"

Jill shook her head, "no, but he called me a hooker."

"Can't say that I blame him," the man said, "but, how did an ordinary girl look you survive?"

"HEY!" Jill spat, "I'm no ordinary girl!"

"Clearly," the man responded as he looked at her outfit.

Jill ignored his remark and continued ranting, "I'm a member of S.T.A.R.S.; survivor of the mansion outbreak, defeater of the Tyrant, and THE MASTER OF LOCKPICKING!"

The man continued to give her a blank stare as she put her hands on her hip.

"S.T.A.R.S?" he asked, "the local nudie bar?"

"NO!" Jill fumed, "THE R.P.D-ugh, never mind! I wear a tank top and mini skirt _one _time and it bites me in the ass!"

The man ignored her ranting and walked towards the back. Suddenly, Jill noticed a man laying on a bench bleeding.

"Hey, is someone wounded back there?" she asked.

"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO YOU!" the bleeding man snapped. When Jill didn't respond, the man answered, "YES!"

Jill walked over to the man and knelt down beside him; observing his wounds.

"Oh my," she said, "this looks bad."

"DO YOU THINK!" the man snapped sarcastically, "I ONLY HAVE BLOOD COMING OUT OF MY THROAT AND CHEST-_I'LL LIVE_!"

"Calm down," Jill insisted softly, "everything's going to be okay."

"Oh _God_," he grumbled, "somebody just kill me _now_!"

Jill ignored him and walked into the next car. There, she saw Carlos standing around talking to Nicholai. Carlos turned to face her and smiled.

"So Jill, did you decide to help us out?" he asked, "it looks like just us three survived."

"What about Mikhail?" Nicholai asked.

"Don't tell him I said this, but he's pretty much dead anyway," Carlos muttered.

"I HEARD THAT!" Mikhail shouted from the other room. Carlos ignored him and continued speaking to Jill.

"Anyway, I think it'd be best if we teamed up."

"No," Nicholai said with a frown, "we can't trust her."

Shocked, Jill firmly placed her hands on her hips as Carlos approached his commander.

"What?" he asked, "why? We need her help! It's down to just you, me, and Mikhail—that's it! And Mikhail's gonna die soon!"

"I HEARD THAT!" Mikhail yelled from the other room. Carlos again ignored him. Nicholai continued to stare at his officer.

"Fine," he finally gave in, "then let's go over our plan. First, we will send Jill on a suicide mission to find the parts to this train. Then, we will crash this train into the Clock Tower building in the outskirts of town. Then, we will hope that the chopper hasn't already left and will have enough room to get us out of the city."

"Sounds like a great plan!" Carlos cheered. He then turned to face Jill, and threw some clothes at her, "put those on! I'm getting sick of looking at that sleazy outfit!"

Before Jill could protest, Nicholai and Carlos ran out of the train. Jill sighed and began to put a sweater on.

"This is the last time I try to escape the city in a mini-skirt," she grumbled.

_A/N: Personally, I think this was my best chapter yet. What was wrong with Jill anyway? How could she not notice the blood all over Mikhail? It looked like his stomach had exploded! Anyway, feel free to leave me a review or partake in a new poll on my profile._


	11. Leon Meets Ada again

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks again for the reviews on the last chapter! I may not be able to update again for a while because I'm getting school work piled onto me by the loads; but I will try. Anyway, here's another chapter on Resident Evil 4…_

Leon stood in the middle of the hallway, staring at an abstract portrait of a woman done by Picasso. As he continued to stare, Ada crept up behind him.

"Oooh," Leon said, "I get it: it's a person!"

Ada placed her gun against Leon's back, causing him to go stiff.

"Put your hands where I can see them!" she ordered.

"Sorry," he apologized, "but following a lady's lead just isn't my style."

"Sexist bitch," Ada yelled, "put those damn hands up!"

Leon spun around and grabbed her arm. Ada kicked his arm off and dramatically did a cartwheel across the room in slow-motion. As the gun spun around in the air, Leon took out his knife and charged after Ada. As she attempted to catch the gun, her heel got caught on her dress, causing her to trip and hit her head on a wooden stand.

Leon stood above her and smirked as she stood up, rubbing the back of her head, "bit of advice: try not wearing a long, magenta dress while attempting to take someone out…unless it's on a date."

Ada smiled and took off her sunglasses, "Leon. You've gotten smarter since we last met."

He stared at her for a good minute, contemplating what she had said. Finally, he came to a realization.

"Ada!" Ada frowned: apparently he hadn't gotten _that_ much smarter. She kept quiet as he continued, "so it is true…"

"True?" she asked innocently, "about what?"

"About the Raccoon City hospital," he answered, "everyone said the doctors could perform miracles, but bringing you back from the dead is just…wow!"

"Uh…actually, Wesker brought me back," Ada corrected.

"So you are working for him!" Leon spat.

"I see you've been doing your homework," Ada said as she dropped her sunglasses; which were now set to detonate.

"Don't be ridiculous," Leon said, "I dropped out of school ages ago. Why are you doing this?"

"Well, it's always been my dream to be a spy," she explained, "the excitement of sneaking around and performing dangerous tasks is just fun!"

"Aaaw…like a ninja!" Leon said, unintentionally making a remark about her race. Ada frowned at this.

"Leon, I'm not Japanese either," she grumbled.

Leon's eyes grew large as he realized what he'd said, "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you. How 'bout we go grab some egg rolls down at the diner?"

"Leon, you're doing it again!" Ada snapped.

Since Ada was now distracted and pacing around the room, she didn't notice that the timer for the bomb-glasses had reached zero. Leon backed away as a cloud of smoke flooded the room, followed by a small 'boom'. He coughed as he looked around for Ada; who was lying on the floor unconscious. He smirked as he realized that it was her glasses that had done this.

"You're sly," Leon muttered as he held the remnants of the glasses over Ada's face, "but not sly enough, Grasshopper."

_A/N: Poor, poor, slow Leon; always saying the wrong things at the wrong time. It's no wonder that Ada double-crossed him. Does that village even have a diner? I know they think it's still like, the 8th century there, but surely they had diners back then? Anyway, feel free to leave a review, or something._


	12. Claire Meets Steve

_Disclaimer: Resident Evil is not mine_

_Sorry for the long wait. These last few weeks have been really crazy because of college and high-school finals (that's the downside to dual enrollment). Luckily, yesterday was my last day of school, so I should be able to update more often now. Well, here's another chapter which I hope you will all enjoy._

Claire sighed as she walked into yet another empty alley.

"God," she muttered, "all these alleys look alike. How am I supposed to get out of here?"

Suddenly, as she took another step forward, a blinding light from one of the watch towers beamed over her. Next, bullets began to rain from the sky as she took cover behind a large crate. Despite her no longer being within firing range, the idiotic shooter continued to waste his ammo in a feeble attempt to shoot at her. This continued for a few more minutes before Claire got bored.

"Why the hell is he shooting the air?" she asked herself.

Suddenly, the firing stopped, and the boy peered out below.

"Did I get it?" he asked, apparently not noticing that she was no longer even there.

"DO YOU _SEE_ A BODY?" Claire yelled from behind the crate.

The young man jumped, and resumed shooting the ground. Claire rolled her eyes and grabbed a gun off the ground. When he ran out of ammo, Claire began shooting at him.

"AH!" the boy screamed, "wait, don't shoot!"

"Who are you!" Claire yelled, "and what have you been smoking!"

"Huh?" the boy asked, "you're not a zombie!"

"Duh! When was the last time you saw a zombie use a gun!" Claire yelled.

The boy frowned, and got down from the tower.

"Sorry about that _little_ misunderstanding," he said as he approached her.

"Shut up!" Claire yelled as she cocked her gun, "the only misunderstanding is how you can even talk with your lack of a brain!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized again, "but I thought you were a zombie coming for me."

Claire stared at him in disbelief, "you were afraid that a zombie was going to figure out how to climb up that tall ass tower and get you? ARE YOU INSANE? Zombies can't even open doors, let alone climb things!"

"Look," he whined, "I said I was sorry. My name's Steve."

"I don't care," Claire growled.

"I was a prisoner on this island," Steve continued as he looked over at a door.

"I don't care," Claire repeated.

"So I guess you're not from Umbrella?" Steve observed.

"Really!" Claire snarled sarcastically, "what gave it away? Was it my prisoner ID necklace or the fact that I don't have an Umbrella uniform?"

"Geez," he whined, "you're mean!"

"And you're a stupid, whiney girly-boy!" Claire snapped back, "What's your point?"

"Ugh, never mind," he groaned, "I'm gonna go find a way off this crazy island…well…later!"

"Where are _you_ going?" Claire asked as he began to run off.

He stopped and waved his finger at her, "I don't want you following me; you'll slow me down."

"_Oh yeah!_" she snapped sarcastically, yet again, "because I have a weapon, and ammo, and are you stupid? By the way, if you ever wave your finger at me again, I'll shoot it off!"

Steve rolled his eyes and ran out through the door. Claire growled and placed her hands on her hips.

"Ugh, I am suddenly beginning to miss Raccoon City-_with_ the zombies!"

_A/N: Wow, now that I think about it, Steve was NOT the brightest crayon in the box. I don't blame Claire for being kind of grouchy in this game: she had to deal with Steve, and a man-lady (truly a fate worse than death). Feel free to leave a review or stop by my profile page to cast your vote for this story._


	13. Leon Meets Ben

_Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, only the poor man in the other cell in this chapter_

_Wow, that update came fast! I officially have too much time on my hands. Oh well, that's better for you guys, right? Well, here's yet another chapter revolving around the man who meets way too many people, Leon…_

Leon ran into the cell area of the basement, hoping to find Ada. Instead, he came across a prisoner sleeping away on his bunk in the cell.

"You must be Ben, right?" Leon asked, then began banging on the bars, "GET UP, _NOW!_"

The man groaned and sat up.

"I'm not Ben!" he spat.

Leon looked over at the next cell over and saw a man with a ponytail standing up and waving at him.

"You looking for me?" he asked.

Leon quickly apologized to the sleepy man and walked over to Ben. Ada barged into the area and approached Ben as well.

"Ben, you told the city officials that you knew something; about what's been going on, didn't you? What did you tell them?" Ada asked.

"Sorry," Ben apologized to Ada, "I don't speak Japanese."

Ada's eyes grew large as she breathed heavily through her nostrils.

"I'M LOOKING FOR MY BOYFRIEND, JOHN!" Ada yelled, "HE WAS WORKING IN AN UMBRELLA LAB IN CHICAGO, BUT HE DISAPPEARED! I HEARD HE WAS IN THE CITY; DO YOU KNOW HIM OR NOT!"

There was a brief, awkward silence between the three.

"I didn't catch a word of that," Ben apologized as he turned his back to her, "besides, if I knew anything, why would I wanna tell you?"

"Because," Leon replied, "I'm a cop…and I have a gun."

"Good point," Ben said, "but I'd prefer if I stayed here in my cell. Those zombies aren't the only things crawling around out there."

"There's zombies?" Leon exclaimed again.

Ada buried her face in her hands as Ben turned around and stared at him in disbelief.

"Look," Ben continued, "I'm not leaving this cell. Get outta here before you lead those things right to me."

"I'm not going anywhere!" Leon protested, "I'm the only cop left alive in this building!"

Ada, Ben, and the man in the other cell stared at Leon in horror.

"We…are…so…fucked!" Ben commented.

Leon ignored their stares and continued, "if you wanna live, you're gonna have to leave with me!"

"Um," Ben said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I think I'll take my chances in this cell."

"Is there room for one more?" Ada asked desperately.

"Guys," Leon insisted, "there's no need to be afraid; I know exactly what I'm doing."

Suddenly, Leon's gun went off; causing everyone to jump.

"Whoops," Leon apologized as he looked down at his gun, "forgot to adjust the safety."

They continued to stare, and Ben cleared his throat.

"I have a feeling you don't know how to get out of the city, huh?" he asked.

Leon shook his head, so Ben took a deep breath and explained:

"There's a kennel in the back of the building. Inside the kennel is a man-hole which will lead you to the sewer entrance. You'll have to find four plugs to get through the door and fight either a mutated scientist or a G-Offspring. Then you will have to wander around the sewers which will lead to an elevator, where if you're not careful, your lady friend could be attacked through the window by a claw, possibly."

"Then you will find yourself in the lab where you will have to wander around and restore power. Then you may come across a crazed wife and find out that your Asian friend is a spy from Umbrella. Depending on which mode, you will have to find a-soon-to-be orphaned girl and take her to the train, and fight either a mutated crazed scientist or a monster in a trench-coat. Then the get-away train may be overtaken by a monster blob and blow up. It won't be easy."

"Alright then," Ada said, "I'm leaving."

Ada ran out of the hall, and Leon went to chase after her.

"Leon!" Ben called, "remember what I said about the spy from Umbrella part."

"Got it!" Leon said with a nod, to which Ben rolled his eyes.

"God help that poor man," Ben muttered as he sat down on his mattress. The other man looked at Ben curiously.

"How did you know all that stuff is going to happen?" he asked.

"I'm a reporter," Ben explained, "I always get the scoop! Plus, I'm also psychic. By the way, that scientist monster I was telling him about-he's gonna break in here and kill us."

The man's eyes grew large as Ben let out a yawn, "Well…goodnight!"

_A/N: Ada sure wasn't kidding: Ben does always get the scoop! Ada never seems to catch a break though, does she? Poor, poor woman. Feel free to leave a review._


	14. Claire Meets Wesker

_Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil or any of its awesome characters_

_Thanks for the reviews everyone! 59 reviews, I cannot believe it: that's more than the reviews from my other three fics combined! Thank you so much for being such dedicated readers, it really means a lot! Now here's the chapter you've all been waiting for—the introduction of Wesker…_

Claire sighed in relief as she reached for the gate handle. Suddenly, she heard someone from behind her.

"Greetings Earthling!" a male called.

Claire turned around with a confused look on her face and saw a man with light blonde hair, sunglasses, and a black suit.

"You must be the lovely Claire Redfield," he said with a smile, "the _very_ lovely Claire Redfield."

"Who are you?" she asked softly and curiously.

The man smiled as he approached her, "let's just say that I'm a ghost; coming back to haunt your dear brother."

"His alcoholism?" Claire gasped.

"No you twit," the man spat, "I'm his old boss, Wesker. Looks like I'm going to have to do a lot of explaining, huh?"

Claire nodded, causing Wesker to sigh.

"I'll make it quick: I was a double-agent for S.T.A.R.S. and Umbrella. Actually, a triple agent: I had some deals with McDonalds going on as well. Long story short, I betrayed your brother's team, got killed by my own creature, came back to life through my friend's virus, and sued McDonalds for making my ass fat."

Wesker smiled as he continued to corner Claire against the door, "in fact, it was I who attacked this island. Who would've thought I'd find you hanging around?"

"Uh, actually, if you'd been watching the news, you'd find out that I've been a prisoner here for the past few months." Claire said.

"Really? Oh well," Wesker said, "you'll make good bait anyway. Now once I kidnap you, your brother will come here fo 'sho!"

Claire's gaze became stern as she looked Wesker in the eye, "I don't know what happened between you two, but you're wrong. My brother isn't the kind of person you think he is-he's much worse!"

Wesker frowned and grabbed Claire by her bottom jaw, "I _despise_ Chris! He got all the attention, all the girls, and all the beer from _my _mini-bar!"

Without warning, Wesker suddenly smacked Claire across the face, causing her to fly through the air. Claire spread out her arms like a bird and made a 'weeeee' sound before hitting the ground.

"Ouch!" she grumbled, "that was actually fun before the landing."

She struggled to get back up as Wesker walked over to her. Thinking he was coming to help her up, Claire smiled at him.

"Gee, thanks—GAH!" she screamed as he stepped on her shoulder.

"Oh how your brother would weep to see you die!" Wesker laughed.

"You're gonna kill me by crushing my shoulder?" Claire screeched, "That's hardcore!"

Before Wesker could say anything, his pager began to go off. He clicked on the hands-free communicator near his ear.

"Yes?" he asked, "Oh hi Sherry!...What do you mean your babysitter still hasn't arrived?...Well why isn't she coming?... A car crash?... Well how bad was it?..._Dead?_"

Claire stared at him curiously as he walked off.

"_Sherry," _Claire thought as Wesker continued ranting_, "where have I heard that name before?"_

Wesker growled and continued his rant, "Can't they just bring her corpse over? I'm sure DHS wouldn't care as long as an adult is present…Well tell them to dig her up!"

Wesker sighed as Claire started to crawl away, "Stay there; we remember what happened last time you went to stay at the police station…Well you can't blame your mother for that, her IQ was only 148—a tad on the slow side for an Umbrella employee…Alright, bye."

Wesker hung up just in time to find Claire heading for the gate. He growled and kicked her harshly in the head. He walked off as she fell back onto the ground.

"It appears as though you're still of some use to me…alright, so I'm a little busy-but I will get you, and it _will_ hurt!"

As he turned his head to face her, red lights beamed slightly from behind his glasses. Just after that, he jumped about fifteen feet in the air over a fence.

"Wow," Claire muttered to herself, "he should consider joining the Olympics."

_A/N: Wow, I just checked the word count for this chapter, and there are exactly 666 words O_o! SCARY! To those who don't know, Wesker stated in one of his reports that Sherry was "safe in his hands", so apparently he has her. In case you're wondering what Wesker's deal was with McDonalds, it was to have them turn down employees and recommend them to work for Umbrella (like with Carlos). Feel free to leave a review_


	15. Leon Meets Luis & Mendez

_Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil…or Mortal Combat_

_Hey everyone, I wanted to thank you again for the reviews. I'm glad you all enjoyed Claire's meeting with Wesker. Now, something happened that really, and I mean REALLY took me by surprise. Kelly28 has added my story to '__The Greatest Stories By The Greatest Authors'_ _community. I have never felt so honored in my life (which is actually kind of sad, but cool nonetheless), so thanks again kelly28! Now then, I present to you the introduction of __señor Luis Sera…_

Leon pulled out his gun as he heard a loud banging noise coming from inside an armoire. He cautiously approached it and gently placed his hand on the handle. Then, he quickly pulled open the door as a man fell onto the floor. The man was tied up and had a piece of tape over mouth, preventing him from speaking.

"Whoa pal," Leon commented, "that's a weird fetish you got there. Hold on, let me help."

The man rolled around a bit as Leon ripped the tape off his mouth.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed as he rolled onto his back, "a little rough, don't you think?"

"Well soooorry! Next time I'll just leave you in there!"

"N-no," he stammered, "I'm grateful, it's just--"

Leon groaned and put the tape back on the man's mouth, "you gripe too much. Now let me finish untying you."

As he removed the last bit of rope, he finally decided to take the tape back off. The man sighed and sat up as he rubbed his wrists.

"Now," the man said, "I have one _very_ important question….do you got a smoke?"

"I got a joint," Leon offered as he held up a bag of weed.

The two turned their heads to face two Ganados that had suddenly entered the room. Behind them stomped a very large man wearing a long trench coat.

"Perfect," the man said sarcastically, "it's the Big Cheese."

"Really?" Leon asked as he turned his head eagerly. He frowned as he looked up at the strange man, "no, that's just a guy."

"Whatever you do," he whispered in Leon's ear, "don't go charging--"

Leon got up and screamed like a savage.

"—after him," he finished under his breath.

Leon charged towards the large man and screamed, "FLYING KICK!"

The large man quickly grabbed his leg and grinned.

"BACK BREAKER!" he yelled as he threw Leon at the armoire.

Leon screamed as he landed on top of the other man. The armoire had been torn to shreds by the impact of the fall. Just when he thought it was over, the large man walked up to him and picked him up by the head. The entire room became dark as Leon looked the man in the eyes.

"FINISH HIM!" a deep voice yelled from nowhere.

The tall man threw Leon into the air and kicked him onto the ground as he landed. Leon spit up blood as he finally passed out. The man smiled and posed by crossing his arms.

"BITORES MENDEZ WINS!" the voice yelled, "FLAWLESS VICTORY!"

*LATER ON*

A man in a purple cloak laughed as Leon laid unconscious on the floor.

"Feeble human," he chuckled, "let us give you…_our power_!"

Another man walked over and stuck a needle in Leon's neck.

"Soon, you will become unable to resist…_our power_! You will be at the mercy of…_our power_!"

"Boss, can you knock that off!?" the minion griped, "that whole 'power' thing is getting old!"

"You are just jealous…of _my power_!"

*LATER*

Leon gasped as he awoke to find himself sitting in a strange room. As he attempted to stand up, he realized his hands were tied to something. He looked behind him and realized he was chained to the man he had just rescued.

"Hey, WAKE UP!" he yelled.

The man jumped and opened his eyes; groaning as he looked around.

"Aye aye aye," he remarked, "this is just like college all over again, except I'm not missing a kidney."

"You mind telling me what's going on?" Leon asked.

"Americano, si?" the man asked, "what brings a bloke like you to these parts?"

Leon moved his hands around, causing discomfort to the other man.

"Ow, easy; whoever you are."

"My name's Leon, I'm looking for this girl," he said as he held out of photo, "seen her?"

"What, are you supposed to be a cop or something?...Naw, you don't look smart enough…let me guess…she's the president's daughter?"

"How'd you know?" Leon asked as his eyes widened.

"Well, that photo was taken inside the president's office. It's kind of obvious, really."

"Oh yeah," Leon said as he examined the picture more closely, "so who are you?"

"Me llamo es Luis Sera," the man replied.

"Uh…I don't speak Spanish."

"It's Luis."

"Oh."

"I used to be a cop. But now I'm just a bum who happens to be quite a ladies' man…on Fridays."

"Why'd you quit?" Leon asked.

"First day on the job, the entire town became infested with zombies, so me and this girl had to find a way out of the city. We were also stalked by this weird monster in a green trench coat and a mutated scientist. After escaping and blowing up an Umbrella lab, I came here as she went searching for her brother."

"Wow," Leon commented, "I hate when that happens."

Suddenly a Ganado came into the room with a large ax and charged at the two. The two panicked and attempted to sit up, with no luck.

"DO SOMETHING, COP!" Luis yelled.

"I'M NOT A COP! YOU DO SOMETHING, BUM!" Leon protested.

The Ganado began muttering some phrase as he continued to charge at them. As Leon and Luis pulled apart in a feeble attempt to run, the ax came crashing down on the chains; causing them to shatter. The two men looked at the chains in amazement.

"Wow, thanks," Leon said to the Ganado.

Luis quickly pulled Leon out of the way as the creature swung its ax at him. Luis then pulled out a gun and shot it between the eyes.

"You idiot!" Luis snapped as the Ganado fell to the ground, "you almost got yourself killed! Know what? I'm going to go rescue the girl; you're clearly unfit for this job."

Luis grumbled as he walked out of the room. Leon stared dumbfounded as Luis closed the door.

"What? LUIS, WAIT! Ugh, nobody ever waits for me! It's as if they think I'm stupid…"

_A/N: Yay! My first reference to something other than McDonalds and Denny's (actually, I haven't mentioned Denny's for a while…guess I'll have to fix that)! Poor, poor Leon: it's ok Leon, we all love you anyway. Feel free to leave a review or whatever else comes to mind._


	16. Everyone Meet Alexia

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Resident Evil, or Pokemon

_Thanks again for the reviews guys. I just saw the trailer for the new game, Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles. It's supposed to be a remake of Resident Evil 2 and Code Veronica. It looks pretty awesome; I recommend that you check it out. Speaking of Code Veronica, here's a new chapter revolved around that very game…_

Chris knelt down beside his sister and nudged at her; hoping to wake her up. Suddenly, she began to stir, and she looked up at him with confusion.

"Are you the angel of death?" she asked deliriously.

"No Claire," Chris replied calmly, "it's me, Chris."

"Darn," Claire muttered as she looked at the ground.

"Gee, I missed you too," Chris grumbled, "now if you can stop being moody for a moment, let's get out of this dump."

Claire shook her head, which took her brother by surprise, "no, not yet. We have to find Steve."

"Steve?" he asked, "who's Steve?"

"He's a boy I kidnapped—I MEAN RESCUED, from that island," she explained, "but then a monster attacked us and we got separated…yeah, separated…"

"So he's still here?" Chris asked.

"I sure hope so; he owes me money!"

Suddenly they heard insane laughter from above them. They looked up to see a woman with long, blonde hair in a purple dress.

"Alexia!" Chris screamed.

"How'd you know about her?" Claire asked curiously.

"I bumped into her when I was getting your serum," he replied.

*FLASHB ACK*

Chris activated the machine as it lifted something out of the ice. Attached to the hook was a grey man with his arms bound and eyes bled out. Suddenly, he heard a female laughing. He looked past the monster and saw Alexia Ashford.

"Who's that Pokemon!" he yelled as he pulled out a small, calculator-like thing.

"Alexia Ashford," a monotonous voice announced from the machine, "the less crazy, but more evil twin of the Ashford family. See also, Mary-Kate Olsen."

"It is I, Alexia Ashford," she answered, then pointed to the creature, "and that is my father. That is how I deal with bugs!"

"By killing your dad?" Chris asked in confusion.

Alexia smirked as something began popping through the ice, "prepare to die, Redfield!"

A giant spider popped out through the ice, and began crawling towards him. Alexia laughed and walked out of the room. Chris smiled as he pulled out a large can of Raid, and began spraying it. The giant bug began squirming and rolled onto its back. Chris grinned in satisfaction as it finally died.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Alexia continued laughing as the two looked at her again, "it is time to meet your end, you inferior siblings!"

Claire scowled and took a step forward, "Who are _you_ calling inferior! At least my brother doesn't dress up as me and make my ears bleed!"

"Well dear," Alexia said smoothly, "who would _want_ to dress like you?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Claire exclaimed as Chris held her back.

Alexia continued to laugh and began to walk away when Claire said something really offensive.

"Yeah, you better walk away; you fat psycho bitch!"

Alexia stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned her head. Suddenly, Wesker walked in through the front doors without his glasses.

"Sorry I'm late," he apologized.

"Uh, actually you're kind of early," Chris pointed out, "you're not supposed to show up 'till later."

"Would everyone please get out of my house!" Alexia yelled, "I just woke up from a fifteen year sleep to find my brother dead on the ground: I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Wesker ignored her and continued with his rant, "at last! I found you Alexia! Come with me!"

"Whoa pal," Alexia snorted, "I'm not some kind of whore…even though I did sleep in a tank naked for over a decade…where everyone could see me…but that's beside the point!"

Wesker gave her a confused look, and then continued, "You're responsible for the creation of the T-Veronica virus. The only existing sample is in your body. Alexia, I NEED YOUR BODY, _NOW!_"

Alexia stared down at him from the top of the stairs.

"You want it?" she asked as he nodded eagerly, "_you are not worthy of its power!_"

She then laughed, and began to descend down the stairs. As she walked, she combusted into flames. Her clothes began to disintegrate as plant-like veins overtook her body. Just as she reached the bottom step, Claire stepped out from behind one of the columns and began spraying her with a fire extinguisher.

"ARGH!" Alexia screamed as she waved her arms like crazy, "what are you doing!"

"SAVING YOUR LIFE!" Claire screamed as she continued.

Right after Claire stopped; Wesker came up from behind Alexia and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"At last!" he exclaimed, "I have you, Alexia!"

Alexia turned around and slapped him across the face: sending him flying through the air. Luckily for his cat-like traits, he landed on his feet. Alexia jumped near him, but he rolled off to the side at the last second.

"You're coming with me!" he snarled as he stood back up.

Alexia growled and shot flames at him. He did a matrix-style run on the side of the walls as the flames moved towards him. He then leaped through the air and landed smack on top of Alexia.

"Oh dear," he said with a smile and blush, "look what happened by accident!"

Alexia pushed him off from her, and shot flames at him again. Both Wesker and Chris became cornered against a door. Wesker looked over at him and growled.

"CHRIS!"

"WESKER!" Chris snarled.

"CLAIRE!" Claire yelled stupidly.

Alexia stared at the trio and shot flames at them. Wesker growled as he brushed flames off his arm, but then contemplated a plan.

"Chris," Wesker said, "since you're one of my best men, why don't you take care of her?"

"What!" Chris yelled as Wesker ran out of the mansion, "get back here you coward!"

Alexia glared as she turned around to face the Redfields.

"Uh…me love you long time?" Chris asked with a flinch.

The two screamed like girls as Alexia shot flames at them. Claire and Chris ran up the stairs as Alexia followed behind them. Chris turned around and pointed at a random corner.

"LOOK, its hot tea and scones!" he yelled.

Alexia eagerly turned around only to be disappointed that nothing was there. She turned her attention back to the Redfields, but discovered that they were gone.

Alexia gritted her teeth and growled, "Curse my British instincts!"

Just as she began climbing up the stairs, a giant tentacle broke through the wall and crashed onto the stairs; cutting off Alexia's access to the Redfields.

"NOOOOOO!" she yelled as she got down on her knees.

_A/N: Hehehe, I guess it goes to show that timing is everything. Poor Alexia, all she wanted to do was take over the world (and to not have to share clothes with Alfred). I also combined everyone's meetings with Alexia because I felt it would be funnier that way. Btw, I wasn't trying to bash Mary-Kate and Ashley, I just put that in there to be funny. Well, feel free to leave a review._


	17. Chris Meets Sheva

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thank you again for the reviews everybody. I know I've probably kept ya'll waiting long enough for this, so here's a chapter from Resident Evil 5._

"_I should've seen it coming,"_ Chris narrated as he drove through the safari to his destination, _"After the fall of Umbrella it didn't take long for their Bio-weapons to end up in the hands of terrorists and high school athletes. A new era of bio-terrorism fell upon vulnerable countries and sporting events: shifting the balance of nature. Up became west and down became east."_

"_The people of these areas feared that another incident like Raccoon City was inevitable, so they chose to stay instead of running for cover. They instead turned to the world governments for help; and after three years of debating the governments formed the BSAA. The BSAA finds these weapons, destroys them, and collects large rewards from the grateful citizens."_

Chris drove into the middle of a very busy market. A woman jumped out of the way as he finally came to a stop.

"Watch where you're going!" she yelled as she picked her basket back up.

Chris got out of his car and grabbed supplies from the back. He failed to notice a woman approaching him from behind.

"Welcome to Africa!" she greeted.

Chris turned and stared at her, "Africa? I thought this was Australia! Damn, I've been duped again!"

"My name is Sheva Alomar," she greeted as she shook his hand.

"Chris Redfield," he greeted.

"Your reputation precedes you Mr. Redfield; it's an honor."

"I don't know what 'precedes' means, but thanks. So, we're gonna be hanging out and stuff?"

"Yes," Sheva replied, "tensions have been running high since the change of government."

"Really, what changed?" Chris asked curiously.

"We no longer have a government," Sheva answered with a frown, "so I'm going to protect you from the terrorists, partner."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine," he said as she walked away.

"Partner," he muttered as he had a flashback of Jill Valentine's grave site, "poor Jill---she just refused to wear warm clothes in the cold."

Sheva stopped and stared at Chris, who was gazing at the ground drooling.

"Uh, are you okay?" she asked, "do you need a doctor?"

"Huh!?" he asked as he turned to face her, "nah, it's nothing!"

Sheva merely nodded as he followed behind her.

"_Casualties continued to mound over the long years of struggle. More and more, I find myself wondering--"_

"Why are you talking?" Sheva asked as she stared at Chris.

"Huh?" Chris asked, "sorry, I was narrating."

"Well please stop," Sheva begged, "it's distracting."

"Sorry," Chris apologized, "won't happen again."

Sheva rolled her eyes and looked away as they continued walking.

"_I find myself wondering if it's all worth fighting for."_

"You're doing it again!" his new partner scolded as she stopped walking.

Chris frowned and he quickly apologized again. Sheva rolled her eyes and proceeded walking.

"_Maybe one day I'll find out,"_ Chris whispered softly.

An officer approached the two and commanded them to stop. He walked up to Sheva and grabbed onto her shoulders, and then her butt.

"HEY!" Sheva barked as she pushed him back, "you don't have to get touchy!"

She quickly pulled out her ID card and showed it to the guard. Then she turned to face Chris.

"Let's go," she ordered.

The guard stared at Sheva as she stormed off, and Chris followed behind her. Suddenly, he felt something hit his left butt-cheek. He turned to face the guard, who was smiling at him casually. Chris gave him a disgusted look, and proceeded following his partner.

"_There is one thing I do know,"_ he mumbled, _"that guy's a pervert. Also, I have a job to do; and I'm going to see it through."_

The large, steel door before the two slowly opened, and they proceeded to reach their destination.

_A/N: That guard really was creepy; I actually half expected him to touch Chris. Can you even imagine a high school basketball player infected with the G-Virus? Now that'd be a sight to see! Feel free to leave a review._


	18. Leon Meets Marvin

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks for the reviews everybody. Wow, 86 reviews…that's only 14 away from 100. Thank you for being such dedicated readers; I probably wouldn't have even continued this fic without your support. Well, here's the new chapter, involving our favorite dim-witted cop…_

Leon heard a man groan as he entered the destroyed office. He turned to his left and saw a wounded officer laying on the ground. He quickly rushed to his side as the cop stared at him deliriously.

"Who…who are you? Oh wait…you must be the new guy…Leon. I hate to say this, but…it looks like your party's been cancelled. And after we paid all that money for the stripper."

Marvin pointed in a random corner and Leon screamed in horror. In the corner stood a half naked zombie, which was hand-cuffed to a chair as she attempted to claw at it.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL HER!?" Leon screamed.

"She's hot," Marvin answered sheepishly.

"SHE'S A ZOMBIE!" Leon argued.

"A hot zombie. Needless to say, the reason everyone here got infected was…sort of her fault."

"Really?" Leon asked, "did she have some sort of STD or something?"

"No," Marvin explained, "About two months ago, there was this incident involving zombies: in a mansion located in the outskirts of this city. Chris, and the other S.T.A.R.S. members discovered that…Umbrella was behind everything…even that poster, and that couch. They are masters of disguise they are. They risked their lives to reveal the truth, but no one believed them."

*FLASHBACK*

"But your honor!" Chris protested as Jill, Barry, and Brad stood behind him in a court room, "evidence clearly shows that the specimens were infected by a virus that Umbrella had created! The records of the virus even exist in their database!"

"Hm," the judge said as he scratched as his 18th century wig, "you do make an excellent point."

"Your honor, you can't believe a word this man says!" William Birkin protested as he stood up, "besides, I have candy."

"Hmm," the judge said as he did a double-take between the two. He finally turned to Chris, "did you bring candy?"

Chris, as well as his team-mates grew wide-eyed as they stared at the judge in disbelief, "Well, well no---"

"The court rules in favor of Dr. Birkin and Umbrella! Case dismissed!" the judge yelled as he banged his hammer.

Jill buried her face in her hands and Brad began to cry and hugged Barry for support. Chris scowled at William as he high-fived his fellow employees.

"Thanks H.U.N.K.," William said to a tall, muscular blonde man as they left the room, "I couldn't have done it without you."

"No problem," H.U.N.K. said with a grin, "you can always count on me."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Leon stared at Marvin in shock as he concluded his story, "not long after that…all of this started to happen."

Marvin groaned in pain again as Leon looked at him with concern.

"Hang in there," he pleaded.

"Don't worry about me," Marvin insisted, "just rescue the survivors in the other rooms. Here, take this key-card; you should be able to unlock the doors in the hall with this. Now go."

"But---" Leon protested.

"JUST GO!" Marvin yelled weakly as he pointed his gun at him.

"Fine," Leon groaned, "but I'm coming back for you, just hold on!"

Marvin sighed as he watched the new officer leave the room. He smiled as he stared at the stripper zombie.

"Now then, we can finally be alone," Marvin said as he locked the door.

*OUTSIDE THE ROOM*

Leon turned around and stared at the door as he heard it being locked.

"That's weird," he muttered, "why would he lock the door? Ah well, it's none of my business. _Leon to the rescue!_"

_A/N: Poor Leon, he never got to have his party. Hm, I actually made him a bit smarter in this chapter. Yes, I do plan on doing Claire Meets Marvin, but that may take a while. Well, feel free to leave a review._


	19. Chris Meets Wesker

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks again for the reviews and votes. I am so bummed that summer is coming to an end, and I'm sure those of you who still attend school are too. No, I'm not still in school, but I have a job with the school…that I just graduated from…as a substitute lunch lady…my life sucks. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter._

Chris walked blissfully down the hallway when he heard a chuckle from behind him.

"Long time no see Chris," someone said as he turned around slowly.

Standing behind him was no other than his former captain, Wesker. Wesker smiled as Chris looked at him from head to toe.

"Wesker?" he asked in disbelief, "you're still alive!?"

Wesker laughed as Chris continued to frown, "what are you doing here!?"

"I came for Alexia," he replied.

"Who!?" Chris asked.

"An organization hired me to capture her."

"Uh, that didn't answer my question," Chris pointed out.

"It was I who attacked the island," Wesker taunted with a grin. Chris frowned as a realization came to him.

"Wait…you attacked the island!" Chris yelled as Wesker frowned, "_And_ my sister!"

Chris moved forward to charge at Wesker. In a flash, the ex S.T.A.R.S. captain rammed into him and knocked him against the wall. Chris went straight through the wall, and the wall behind that one, and another, until he finally came to a stop.

Wesker adjusted his glasses as Chris rubbed his sides, and quickly teleported himself next to him. Chris screeched as the mutated blonde picked him up by the shirt.

"Have you been drinking Monster energy drinks?" Chris asked curiously.

"No," Wesker answered as he shook his head, "I've been drinking Red Bull; it gives you wings…and sometimes Tyrant super-human powers!"

Chris groaned as Wesker wrapped his hand around his throat and lifted him off the ground.

"You have no idea how much I hate you!" he growled, "You destroyed my plans, so I've sold my soul to an evil and more powerful organization…Disney!"

Chris growled and smacked him across the face; knocking off his sunglasses in the process. Wesker turned to face him, with big, bold orange eyes.

"Hold on," he muttered as he grabbed something out of his pockets. He pulled out a bottle of Visine, and dropped some into his eyes. Soon, they returned to their natural light blue color, "that's much better! Now, here's a little secret: your sister is in the Antarctic. It's too bad you won't be seeing her again!"

As he began laughing, he was interrupted by an even creepier laugh. He turned his head to face a TV screen which showed the late Ashford who had awoken from her sleep.

"ALEXIA!?" he squeeled as he tossed Chris aside, "I'M COMING FOR YOU MY BRITISH LOVE MUFFIN!"

Chris coughed up blood as Wesker ran out of the room. Unbeknownst to him, a Hunter was sneaking up from behind him.

_A/N: Will Chris live!? Yes, obviously. Sorry about all the product ads in this chapter: I've sold my soul to Wal*Mart, so I have to stick at least two products in each chapter (kidding). As for Alexia and Disney, they need her for their next High School Musical movie: The Reunion! Feel free to leave a review._


	20. Jill Meets Dario

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, sorry

_Thank you so much for the reviews guys and gals. I can't believe that this fic is nine months old! It seems like it was just yesterday when I wrote 'Claire Meets Sherry'. Time flies by way too fast. Anyways, here's another chappie._

"_September 28__th__, daylight_," Jill narrated as a typewriting sound echoed in the background, "_The monsters have overtaken the city…somehow…I'm still a virgin---er---alive!_"

Jill panted as she looked through the window. The city had become over-taken by monsters, and she had managed to rescue one civilian.

"Okay," she said as she turned around, "we've gotta get outta here!"

The obese man cringed as Jill made her way down some steps.

"WHAT!?" the man asked, "what do you think you're talking about!? I just lost my daughter out there! How do you tell me to go back outside!"

"It's your fault!" Jill scolded, "if you hadn't made us stop by McDonalds so you could get your stupid Quarter Pounder then we wouldn't have gotten separated!"

"But they were having a Doomsday special: I couldn't pass that up!" Dario protested.

Jill groaned and started to rub her temples.

"Ugh, whatever, it doesn't matter now. Look pal, there's not going to be any rescue—we've got to leave _now_!"

"NO!" Dario protested, "I'd rather starve to death in here than be eaten by one of those undead monsters!"

"Really?" she asked with a scoff, "a fat guy like yourself would rather starve than leave the city? I mean, you look like you could probably eat the monsters as you go along…fatty."

"Don't call me fat you slut!" he yelled as he threw his arms in the air.

"Hey! You shouldn't judge people based on how they look you fat piece of lard!"

"That's it, I'm outta here!"

Jill watched in shock as Dario ran towards a box car and attempted to climb up into it. He gasped and kicked his legs as he attempted to pull his fat arse into it. Jill walked over and helped push him up.

"Thanks," he said as he held onto the door, "NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Dario pulled on the doors and locked himself inside.

"What a drama queen!" Jill grumbled as she walked off.

*LATER*

Jill walked back into the building and looked to her left. In the corner she saw a body lying on the ground. She looked closer and saw a blood covered Dario hovering over the body as he chewed on its arm.

"OH NO!" she exclaimed, "He's become one of them!"

"No," Dario said as he turned to face her, "I just got hungry."

"EW!" Jill exclaimed.

_A/N:Poor Jill, she's had a lot of crap to put up with over the years: the Mansion incident, the Raccoon City Outbreak, Carlos coming onto her, and becoming a blonde mind-slave to Wesker (although that's probably a common fangirl dream). Btw, the McDonalds special was that anyone who came in without a zombie bite got a free drink. Feel free to leave a review or vote on my profile page._


	21. Claire Meets Chief Irons

Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? I don't own Resident Evil

_Thank you again for the reviews everyone. Because of your efforts, this story now has over 100 reviews! So to show you my gratitude, I've drawn up a humorous Resident Evil pic; which you can view through the link on my profile page (I tried posting it on here but it wouldn't work)  
__I'm also thinking about doing a Resident Evil video for the fic's one year anniversary (a Resident Evil Chatroom video); but I'm still not sure about that. Anyways, enjoy the picture and the chapter!_

Claire groaned as she walked into the room. She looked around and noticed lots of shelves and a desk across from her. She walked closer to the desk and suddenly noticed a body laying upon it. As she gasped in horror, the desk chair spun around; revealing a short, chubby man holding a gun.

"Oh," he said as he put his gun down, "I'm terribly sorry, but I thought you were another one of those…zombies."

"There's zombies!?" Claire exclaimed.

The man stared at her blankly, "just who are you?"

"No---" the man cut Claire off before she could answer, "don't bother telling me. It makes no difference. Soon you'll end up _just_ like all the others…out of work, living in a cramped one-bedroom apartment, and living off from the McDonalds' dollar menu…what were we talking about?"

Claire ignored him and turned her attention towards the dead woman lying on the man's desk.

"That's the mayor's daughter," Irons said, "I was told to look after her, but I failed…miserably."

"No, you think!?" Claire spat sarcastically.

The chief gave her a quick glare, and turned his attention back to the dead woman.

"Just look at her," the chief said lustfully, "she was a _true_ beauty…her skin nothing short of perfection. _But_, it will soon putrefy and she will turn into a zombie just like all the others."

"She was bit?" Claire asked as the chief nodded, "That's strange; zombies usually don't bite in the stomach region."

Irons became wide-eyed as he began sweating, "Uh…well, these zombies had a…stomach fetish. Yes, that's it!"

"That's funny, this wound actually looks like a bullet hole," Claire noticed as she pointed just below the woman's belt.

"IT'S NOT!" Irons said frantically, "She was lying down and a zombie chewed on her stomach!"

"How unfortunate," Claire sighed as she shook her head solemnly, "is there any way to stop it?"

"As a matter of speaking there is," the chief replied as he sighed in relief, "either by putting a bullet through her brain, or by decapitating her completely."

Chief Irons then turned to look at some decorations hanging on his wall. Claire turned to look as well. On the wall there were several birds, squirrels, and the body of Jimmy Hoffa---all in a preserved state.

"And to think taxidermy used to be my hobby," the chief said with a sigh as a look of disgust overtook Claire's face, "but no longer!"

"Please, I'd _really_ like to be alone now," Irons said as he leaned back in his chair.

"No problem," Claire muttered as she turned to walk away, "I kind of wanted to leave anyway."

The chief sighed as he watched the young Redfield walk into his artifact room.

"She really should've asked my permission before going in there," he muttered as he looked back at the body of the mayor's daughter, "Now, time to preserve your body so I'll have something to goggle at while I'm lonely…oh God I need to get laid!"

_A/N: Wow, who thought that the man running the police station would turn out to be a creep? Apparently most Hollywood films. Speaking of creepy, Chief Irons should really consider getting on E-Harmony instead of preserving women like that. I bet he probably still lives in his mom's basement too. Feel free to leave a review._


	22. Leon Meets Saddler

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks again for the reviews y'all. Btw, I just figured out that "_you all_" is abbreviated as "_y'all_", and not "_ya'll_" like I've been doing for my whole life. I am now officially ashamed to call myself a southerner. Well, I hope you all like this new chapter…y'all!_

Leon and Ashley were now wandering inside a medieval looking church. As they moved along the railings, they finally came across a ladder that would take them onto the first floor. Leon jumped down and looked up at Ashley, who was looking rather nervous.

"Don't worry, I'll catch you," he insisted as he stuck out his arms.

Ashley nodded, and jumped. Leon smiled and quickly pulled his arms back; sending Ashley falling onto the cold hard floor.

"April Fools!" he taunted, "Man, you're fun to mess with!"

Ashley groaned and followed him into the main part of the chapel; where a cloaked man with a strange staff was standing.

"I'll take the girl!" he growled as he walked towards the center of the altar.

"Who are you?" Leon asked.

"If you _must_ know, my name is Osmund Saddler; the master of this fine…religious community."

"What do you want?" Leon asked, getting a bit annoyed.

"To demonstrate to the world our outstanding power of course," he answered with a grin,

"By kidnapping a college student air-head?" Leon questioned as he raised an eyebrow.

"No!" Saddler growled, "So the United States would no longer think they could police the world forever! So, we kidnapped the president's daughter, in order to give her our power and send her back."

"NO!" Ashley exclaimed as she began having a flashback.

*FLASHBACK*

Ashley sat unconscious in a big, black chair; where her arms and legs were strapped down. A creepy looking man in a cloak approached her with a needle and stuck it in her neck.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Oh wait," Ashley muttered, "That was the Sorority initiation party."

*FLASHBACK AGAIN*

Ashley sat unconscious in a big, black chair; where her arms and legs were strapped down. A creepy looking man in a cloak approached her with a needle that was connected to a vile of purple goo. The man stuck the needle in her neck and shot it into her bloodstream.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Hm…still seems like one of the Sorority's parties," Ashley grumbled.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!?" Leon demanded as he turned back to face Saddler.

"We just planted her a little…gift," the creepy man replied, "It's going to be one hell of a party when she returns to her 'loving' father! But before that, I thought I might bargain with the president for some donations; believe it or not it takes a lot of money to keep this church up and running."

"No kidding," Leon agreed, "The only donations you probably get from these poor townspeople are some chickens."

"Sadly, yes," Saddler agreed as he nodded; while looking up at the strange insignia engraved in one of the stained glass windows.

"Faith in money will lead you nowhere Saddler," Leon said with a smirk.

"Yes, as an American I'm sure you would know," Saddler remarked sarcastically, "Oh, by the way, I gave you the same 'gift'."

Leon gasped as he looked at the ground, "While I was unconscious!"

*MORE FLASHBACKS*

Leon sat unconscious on the floor where he was chained to anther guy. A creepy looking man in a cloak approached him with a needle that was connected to a vile of purple goo. The man stuck the needle in his neck and shot it into his bloodstream.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Wait, I think that was _my_ college party," Leon muttered as Ashley held onto his arm.

"Well, I hope you like our small but special contributions. When the eggs hatch, you will become my puppets, and I will have total control over your minds."

"You know TV would've worked just as well," Leon pointed out.

Suddenly, the door to the chapel was kicked open, and two cloaked men holding guns barged in. Leon quickly grabbed Ashley by the arm and ran towards a window. As the men began shooting, the two jumped through; sending them onto a hard, cobblestoned floor.

"Are you okay?" Leon asked as she attempted to get up.

"Leon, what's gonna happen to us?" she panted.

"Don't worry," Leon assured, "We'll get out of this mess."

Ashley nodded, and got up to leave.

"April Fools," he muttered under his breath.

_A/N: See what happens when you don't donate to your local church? The pastors kidnap dumb blondes so they can get some funding. Oh, and don't worry, college parties aren't THAT wild…unless you go to PSC (lol, j/k). Well, feel free to leave a review._


	23. Claire Meets Annette

Disclaimer: Resident Evil ain't mine, it's CAPCOM's

_Thank you for the reviews everyone! For those who voted 'yes' on my poll on whether or not I should do a Resident Evil Chat room video, you'll be pleased to know that I am working on it as we speak. I hope to have it done by this fic's one year anniversary. Now then, let's get back to the meetings, shall we?_

Claire grumbled in disgust as she walked through the murky sewer waters. As she dodged the poison clouds emitted by the giant spiders, she opened the doors to the next room. As she began walking on the railings overseeing a septic pool, a blonde woman approached her with a gun.

"Who are you?" the woman asked in a delirious manner, "…Oh, I see…another spy sent by Umbrella right? Let me guess, you're here to steal my husband's G-Virus. You are delicious, I'll give you that."

"Husband?" Claire asked as she raised an eyebrow, "Then you must be Annette, Sherry's mother…did you just call me delicious?"

"How do you know of these things Mrs. Buttersworth?" Annette ranted.

Claire shook her head and ignored the woman's strange behavior, "Sherry's lost in the sewers! We have to find her!"

"What? But that's impossible!" Annette fumed, "I told her to stay home, why did she leave?"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CALLED HER AND TOLD HER TO GO TO THE POLICE DEPARTMENT!" Claire yelled.

"I did?" Annette asked as she rubbed her head, "Huh, I didn't even know we had a phone."

"Did you smoke something, or were you hit on the head?" Claire asked as she stared in confusion.

"A little of both," the woman confessed, "But that doesn't matter, William will be after her now!"

"William?"

"That's right," Annette answered, "the creature that's behind all of this chaos and destruction is no other than my husband…I kind of blame myself for not keeping him satisfied at home, but what can you do?"

"Ugh, is this gonna lead to a flashback or something?" Claire grumbled.

*FLASHBACK*

A pair of elite Umbrella soldiers wandered around a hallway carrying some guns.

"This way," one of them motioned to his left.

The scene skipped to a case of samples being closed as a man with blood-shot eyes stared at them admiringly.

"It's sheer perfection," William muttered as he held up a sample, "My precious G-Virus. No one will ever take you away from me!"

Suddenly two soldiers walked in through the lab entrance.

"Doctor, we're here to take your virus away from you!" H.U.N.K. yelled.

"Shit!" William grumbled as he grabbed a gun.

He then grabbed his case of the other samples and began backing away as he pointed his gun at the men who were attempting to steal his work.

"So you've finally come," William noted with a grin.

"Just give us the sample and you can go home to your loving family in one piece," H.U.N.K implored.

William shook his head as he continued backing away, "Sorry, but they just aren't good enough!"

Suddenly, a canister fell over, setting all of them into panic. One of the soldiers began shooting William mercilessly as H.U.N.K. stood by watching. The soldier continued shooting until William fell onto the ground helplessly and his gun ran out of bullets. The solider reloaded his gun and started shooting some more.

"STOP!" H.U.N.K. ordered, "It's not fun anymore. Just grab the case and move out!"

William groaned as he watched the two leave with his life's work. Seconds after they left, Annette entered the room in panic.

"Oh William, you're hurt!" she cried as she ran to his side.

"Annette…," William groaned, "Why…why didn't you stop them?"

"I had to save you, I love you!"

"Screw your love, I need someone to retrieve my work!"

"Fine!" Annette scoffed as she turned to leave, "Be that way you douche!"

William silently cursed as he watched his last hope leave. Suddenly, he realized he was still holding a sample of the G-Virus in his hand, and he began to contemplate a plan…

The scene switched to two other soldiers standing around in the sewer system.

"Alpha team, have you retrieved the sample?" one of them asked H.U.N.K. through a radio.

"Yup," H.U.N.K. answered bluntly.

"Alright, let's go to Carrabba's!" he cheered.

The scene switched back to William, who injected himself with the G-Virus. Soon, his eyes turned red and he began to turn into something else.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Claire stared at Annette in pure shock and disbelief, "Are you telling me he injected the G-Virus into his own body!"

"Yup," Annette answered with a nod, "That's what I just got done explaining to you."

*FLASHBACK SOME MORE*

The soldiers stood around waiting for their team-mates when they heard a scream.

"I think something's wrong," one of them noticed, "We should check it out."

"Don't be crazy," the other said carelessly, "It's just the wind."

They stood around listening the sound of horrible screams and the shooting of guns.

"Yup," the head guy said with a nod, "That's definitely the sound wind makes."

The other soldier groaned, "I'm gonna go check it out!"

The head guy rolled his eyes as his partner ran off. He whistled as he pulled out a cigarette, not knowing that the mutated William was creeping up behind him. He looked at the warning label on the cigarette box.

"Warning: May cause cancer. Well, I don't want that to happen!"

He threw the cigarettes onto the ground and clapped his hands.

"There, I am safe from death once more!" he stated pridefully.

He heard a noise from beside him and turned his head. Facing him was the hideous G-form of Dr. Birkin; who had his claws out ready to kill.

"Aww shit!" he groaned as William stabbed him.

As he lay dying, a group of rats scurried to the scene and began feeding on the remains of the broken T and G-Virus samples.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"So those rats were the carriers of the virus!" Claire exclaimed.

"Yes," Annette answered, "Luckily I was a witness to the whole thing via security cameras, so I know the whole truth…perhaps it might've helped if I had warned citizens ahead of time. And because of the mutations, William should've lost all memories he had as a human by now…I tried to save him-"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!" Claire spat.

"-But I'm afraid it's too late," Annette continued as she ignored Claire, "And that's not even the whole story."

"Oh God, there's _more_ flashbacks!" Claire yelled as she threw her hands up in the air.

"No," Annette answered bluntly, "Every G monster, including William, has the ability to implant embryos in a human host…that's why he's looking for Sherry."

"Oh my God, pedophilia!" Claire screamed as she backed away.

"NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Annette grunted as she shook her head, "People who share no DNA with William will reject the embryo, but since Sherry's his daughter, that possibility is non-existent."

"Oh my God, incest!" Claire screamed.

As Annette continued to growl in frustration, they were interrupted by the cries of a young girl.

"It's Sherry!" Annette yelled in panic.

"You go that way!" Claire ordered as she pointed towards from where she came.

Annette nodded and ran out the door.

"He he, sucker!" Claire chuckled.

_A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I updated; I've gotten the flu twice this past month, and then I got a computer virus. Let's just say this past month hasn't been the best, but I suppose it could be worse: my mother could be on crack and my dad could be trying to implant embryos in me. Well, feel free to leave a review, or subscribe, or whatever else you can think of._


	24. Chris Meets Josh

Disclaimer: In Soviet Russia, Resident Evil owns you!

_Thank you again for the reviews boys and girls! To celebrate the fic's one year anniversary, I have uploaded the Resident Evil Chat Room video on my YouTube account. The link is available on my profile page. Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy the video and this new chapter._

Chris and Sheva had just entered a cool, dark room with the man who had rescued them from the monsters on the motorcycles. The two approached the man as Chris extended his arm out to the man.

"Man am I glad to see you guys," Chris said with a sigh of relief, "I've never seen zombies use motorcycles before---they've come a long way since the 90's."

"We all have," the man agreed with a nod, "I'm Captain Stone of the Delta Team."

"Chris Redfield," he introduced himself as he shook his hand, "need I say more?"

Josh turned his head to face Chris' new partner.

"Sheva," he greeted with a small grin.

"Thanks Josh," Sheva said with a smile, "I owe you one."

Chris turned his attention to his partner in confusion, "You know each other?"

"Yes," Sheva replied, "all black people know each other."

"Really?" Chris asked.

"Of course not you dolt!" Sheva snarled slightly as Josh chuckled, "I trained under him; he taught me everything I know."

Josh nodded as he turned his attention back to Chris, "She became the little sister of the team---well, more like the step-sister really; somebody that none of us really liked and we would play horrible tricks on her daily to make her life miserable."

Sheva stopped smiling and bowed her head in shame. Josh stopped laughing as he reached into his pocket.

"Now Sheva, I need you to continue your search for Irving. According to the data we retrieved on the hard drive, we believe he's moved into the mining area. There's more info inside."

Chris nodded as he grabbed the flashdrive.

"We'll follow after we finish up business here," Josh said as Chris stared in awe at the drive, "It may take a while; we were planning on eating pizza while watching American Idol re-runs."

"Thanks Josh," Sheva stated with a nod, "I understand."

Josh nodded as he and the other two soldiers walked out the door. Sheva walked over to Chris' side as he put the drive inside his hand-held computer. After pressing a few buttons, a photo of a brunette in a bikini appeared on the screen. Chris chuckled nervously as Sheva looked at him with disgust.

"Now how did that get there!?" Chris asked nervously in an attempt to play dumb.

Sheva continued to glare at him as he cleared his throat and pressed more buttons. In a matter of seconds, a picture of a blonde woman in some kind of liquid appeared on the screen.

"Jill," Chris muttered as the flashbacks began. Images of a large castle, a dead old geezer on the floor, and Jill falling out a window ran through his mind. Sheva stared in concern as a blank look overtook his expression and he began drooling again.

"Chris," she asked, "Are you sure you don't need a doctor?"

Chris turned his head in surprise, "This picture…it's…never mind."

"I get it," Sheva muttered as her face stiffened, "You think she's prettier than me!"

"Wa!? No, I---" Chris tried to explain.

"Well, that's just fine!" Sheva huffed, "Let's get going, pig!"

Chris stared in bewilderment and embarrassment as Sheva stuck her nose in the air and marched out with her arms crossed. He grumbled as he looked at the picture again.

"Good lord Jill, even in death you still cause me problems."

_A/N: I'm sorry you guys had to wait so long for this chapter. I've been trying to wrap up my other fics so I can focus more on this one and hopefully start another fic listed on my profile page (but I doubt that any of those would interest you). Anyway, tell me what you thought about this chapter and the story so far._


	25. Chris & Sheva Meet Excella

Disclaimer: Yo no poseo el Mal Residente

_Thank you again for the reviews everyone. I just realized that my Chat Room video doesn't have any audio, so I will try and fix it; I just wish that Youtube offered better varieties of music. If anybody knows how I can upload songs from my computer without Youtube detecting it, please let me know (I know Shadowleggy has somehow managed to do it). Anyway, I hope you all like this new chapter._

Chris and Sheva had just finished off a giant monster, and they were now standing in front of a tank which they believed held Chris' ex partner, Jill. Water gushed out as the door opened, revealing that there was nothing inside. Chris frowned as he shook his head.

"Where is she!?" he asked nobody in particular.

Unbeknownst to him, the face of a whorey looking woman appeared on a monitor behind him.

"Mr. Redfield!" she called as he turned his head, "How nice to finally make your acquaintance."

"Pamela Anderson?" he asked as he approached the monitor, "When did you become a brunette?"

"That's Excella Gionne," Sheva corrected, "She works for Tricell."

"The makers of Grandmas Gone Wild?" Chris asked.

"No, a pharmaceutical company," his partner corrected again.

"I see you've been doing your homework," Excella said with a cocky grin.

Sheva frowned as she approached the monitor, "An officer in the Global Pharmaceutical Consortium? Why?"

"As if I need to explain myself to you," Excella scowled as put her hands on her hips, "Although, weren't you given orders to retreat?"

"So it WAS you!" Sheva exclaimed.

Excella gave them a creepy grin as Chris snarled.

"Where's Jill!?" he demanded.

"Jill?" she asked as a pop-up for a Volvo appeared on the monitor, "Even if I did know do you think I'd tell you?"

Chris and Sheva developed awkward expressions on their faces.

"Um, Excella, you got a little---" Chris said as he pointed to the corner of the screen.

Excella ignored him and continued talking as another pop-up for Pizza Hut appeared, "As soon as you two are done with your vigilante mission, you should leave. There is nothing here worth throwing your life away for."

"That's where you're wrong," Chris said boastfully, "Our lives aren't worth squat!"

Sheva groaned as she slapped her hand over her face.

"Not helping," she grumbled as Chris continued to look clueless.

Suddenly, more pop-ups appeared, and one of them began downloading the Security System virus. Excella screamed in frustration as the other computers in the room started to die.

"STUPID VISTA!" she screamed before losing visual contact herself.

Sheva and Chris exchanged glances and then went back to staring at the blank screen.

"Hmph, she should've bought a Mac," Sheva scoffed with a sly grin.

"Or Norton Anti-Virus," Chris added.

"Please," Sheva said as she turned and rolled her eyes, "Those programs never work."

"Alright then," Chris yawned as he stretched his arms, "let's go find my girlfriend---I MEAN FRIEND! Yeah, that's what I meant…friend."

Sheva rolled her eyes as she started to walk away.

Chris chuckled as he lagged behind her, "She doesn't suspect a thing."

_A/N: There you go; we've finally met the creepy slut. Yeah, the thing that happened to Excella is what happened to me a month ago when my computer got infected; and the stupid virus tried installing itself again last week! Ugh, I hate computers. Anyway, tell me what you thought about this chapter and the fic overall._


	26. Leon Meets Krauser

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Sorry for such the long wait you guys. I've been kind of stressed these past months with it being the holidays, and I've been trying to sort my life out with other things. For some reason my Chat Room video has audio now; so if you wanna check it out you may do so. Anyway, I will to update more often. Enjoy the new chapter. _

Leon cautiously walked across a metal platform which was suspended in the air. A slight noise was made behind him, and he slowly drew his knife from a pouch on his chest. After a brief pause, he quickly spun around to see a small tabby looking up at him. He smiled as he gave a light chuckle.

"Oh kitty, you scared me," he said as he started to put his knife back up.

Suddenly, a loud slam was heard and he looked up to see a muscular man flying towards him. The two screamed as he landed smack on top of him, causing severe discomfort and a couple of bruised bones. The two laid around groaning as the blonde man slowly got up and Leon got back on his feet.

"Dude," Leon whined as he felt his face, "You scratched me! Do you know how much I paid for-I mean, how much time I spent on my face?"

The man frowned as he held up his dagger, "Been a long time, comrade."

Leon's eyes widened as he lost his breath, "Ada?"

"NO!" the man growled, "It's me, Krauser!"

Leon stared at him for a moment, "…doesn't ring a bell."

Krauser groaned as he brought his hand up to his face, "We used to work together, remember? We fought off friggin B.O.W's in South America!"

There was a slight pause before the realization hit Leon, "Oh yeah, now I remember…you got ugly."

The blonde man frowned as he began pacing around, "I died in a crash two years ago; is that what they told you?"

"Uh, actually they told everyone you had a sex change operation and joined the cast of Hannah Montana; but I guess it amounts to the same thing. You're the one who kidnapped Ashley I'm guessing."

Krauser smirked as he approached Leon; twirling his knife.

"You catch on quick…not quite expected; after all, you and I both know where we come from."

Krauser then turned around and attempted to slash Leon. Leon however jumped back quickly and barely missed the blade. Leon stepped forward and attempted to stab his former partner in the face, but Krauser leaned back in time. The two crouched and glared at each other with great intensity as they awaited each others' next move.

"What do you want!" Leon demanded.

Krauser smirked and stepped forward; again trying to slice Leon. He jumped back again and missed the hit, and dodged an upwards slice from Krauser. The blonde stumbled back some and went back into his crouching position.

"The sample Saddler developed, that's all," he answered. He then attempted to slice Leon again, only to have his blade blocked by Leon's knife. Leon quickly moved off to the side.

"Leave Ashley out of this!" he yelled.

"Oh, I needed her to lead Saddler to me; like you, I'm American…and I wanted her sweet boots."

He then kicked a barrel towards Leon and sprinted forward. The two attempted to cut each other and ended up falling off the edge of the platform. The men braced themselves for the fall, but landed firmly on their hands and knees; seeing as how they were both part cat. Leon growled as he turned to face him.

"You got her involved just for that!"

The two lunged at each other again, swatting their blades around in an elegant manner. After a bit of struggling, Krauser kicked Leon and knocked him down on his back. He grinned as he approached the now unarmed man.

"All for Umbrella's sake," he growled. Leon's eyes widened at this.

"Umbrella?" he asked.

"Oops," Krauser hissed, "almost let it slip that Wesker's alive and wants the Las Plagas to team up with Tricell and create a new company and virus so he can control the world…it's a good thing I know how to keep my mouth shut. Enough talk, die comrade!"

The blonde man jumped on top of Leon and pressed his knife down towards Leon's throat. Leon placed his hands around Krauser's in an attempt to fight him off. Suddenly, a bullet hit the knife and knocked it out of his hands. Leon then kicked Krauser off from him and got back on his feet. The two looked up and saw an Asian woman in a long dress standing above them.

"Ada!" Leon yelled.

"Well, if it isn't the bitch in the red dress," Krauser hissed.

"Excuse me!" Ada yelled as she turned her attention to him, "I'll have you know this dress is magenta!"

Krauser chuckled and did a back flip onto the platform above him. Leon took several steps forward to get a better look at him.

"You may be able to prolong your life, but it's not like you can escape your inevitable death; is it?"

Krauser then turned to Ada with a look of slight confusion on his face, "Is it?"

Ada sighed as she put her arm down, "No Krauser; he can't escape his death."

"Good," Krauser said as he turned around, "I'll see ya around, binky boy."

As the ex government agent left the area, Ada jumped down and joined Leon, who had picked up Krauser's knife and was examining it.

"You knew each other?" she asked.

"More or less," Leon answered, "Maybe it's time you tell me the reason why you're here?"

Ada smirked as she started walking away, "Maybe some other time."

Leon frowned as he watched her jump off the platform and disappear from the scene.

"What? ADA WAIT! Ugh, she never listens to me!"

_A/N: Poor Leon, he can never catch a break. Yes, Krauser did make a reference to Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series; I just couldn't resist. Anyway, I will try to make the next chapter as soon as possible. Feel free to leave a review._


	27. Rebecca & Billy Meet Marcus

Disclaimer: Resident Evil I own not, hm?

_Thank you for the reviews everyone. For those who enjoyed my Chat Room video, I have uploaded part 2. The link is available on my profile page. I hope you enjoy the video and this chapter. _

Rebecca and Billy gasped as they entered a large, dark room which was damp and full of leeches.

"Yuck," Rebecca commented, "This reminds me of that show about people who can't throw stuff away or their minds will implode."

"It's still cleaner than prison," Billy muttered.

The two looked up and saw a tall man in a weird robe with long hair standing on a platform above them.

"Welcome young ones, so glad you could join the party," he hissed, "you are the guests of honor; after all, it's your wake."

"Dude, you are terrible host," Rebecca commented, "this place is filthy! Who'd wanna come to a party like this?" Billy ignored her comment.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

The man glared at them, and his features suddenly changed to that of an old man.

"Doctor Marcus!" Billy exclaimed.

"No," Rebecca said, "From the rapid aging I think he's Solid Snake; you know, from Metal Gear 4?"

Billy sighed as he brought his hand to his face, "Rebecca, that was just a game; that stuff could never happen in real life."

Marcus cackled and began to speak as the camera zoomed in on his face, "Ten years ago, Spencer had me assassinated."

Marcus let out a small cry as the camera zoomed in too much and bumped him in the face, "Ugh, zoom out you imbecile!"

*FLASHBACK FROM MARCUS' POV*

From first person view two hands covered in black gloves could be seen holding a Big Mac and bringing up to his mouth. Suddenly, a noise was heard from behind and he dropped it at the sight of two soldiers pointing guns at him. He screamed as they began firing at him, causing him to collapse onto the floor. The burger fell off the table and onto his face, and he looked up and saw two blonde men standing above him.

"It's time to die, doctor," the man in sunglasses hissed as he leaned in on him.

"I'll be taking over your research _and_ your lunch," the other man said and began laughing maniacally.

"W-Wesker," Marcus muttered as everything faded to black, "Birkin."

"_However,"_ the present Marcus narrated s the scene changed to show a close up of his dead body, _"Something wondrous happened; and by wondrous, I mean gross."_

The camera zoomed into his mouth and the rest of his body to show the molecules and cells of his insides.

"_It took the T-Virus inside of my Big Mac years to procreate my new life,"_ he narrated.

Suddenly the camera zoomed in on a cell, which was now glowing red inside of being the dull, dead grey that it was. Everything else turned red as well, and the camera quickly zoomed out of his body to show the now young face of Marcus.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"I live," the young Marcus hissed as he clenched his fists, "Now I will have my revenge on Umbrella; and the world will burn in an inferno of hate!"

Billy and Rebecca glared at him as he began laughing crazily.

"You'll pay for what you've done!" Billy growled, "…a hundred bucks should cover it."

Rebecca shot Billy a nasty look as he shrugged. Marcus laughed.

"We'll see which one of us is gonna die!" Marcus hissed as he began laughing. Suddenly, a grey liquid began pouring out of his mouth and spilling onto the floor. Suddenly, something large and black came out of his mouth and began descending onto the floor.

"Dude, what did you eat!" Rebecca exclaimed.

Once the substance was out of his body, his skin began to bubble and inflate, and his appearance started to change.

"Ugh, it can't be!" Billy exclaimed.

"It-it's disgusting!" Rebecca cried.

Marcus' transformation was complete, and he was now in the form of Ronald McDonald. The monster laughed as Billy and Rebecca stared in horror.

"I'm lovin' it, bitches!" he cackled as he jumped down to attack them.

_A/N: Will the two defeat Jonald McMarcus and make it out alive! The answer should be obvious. Well, feel free to leave a review, and happy Valentine's Day._


	28. Jill Meets Enrico

Disclaimer: Resident Evil is not mine

_Thanks again for the reviews guys. I finally checked out the Darkside Chronicles last week, and boy is it hard! On the plus side the graphics were totally kick-$$, but I don't like how they altered the storyline; especially concerning the relationship between Alfred and Alexia towards the end. Oh well, at least it's not canon. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter. _

Jill walked around the dark tunnel looking for a way out, or for some of her team-mates. As she turned a corner, she heard something.

"Is that Jill?" a voice asked. She stopped for a moment.

"Is that voice Enrico's?" she asked.

The voice paused for a moment, "I…I think…oh, yes!"

Jill continued walking and turned to see her team-mate Enrico hunched over and sitting on the floor.

"You're alive!" she exclaimed.

"No shit," Enrico commented.

Jill ignored his insult and ran over to him. He held up his hand and frowned.

"Wait there!" he ordered, "Are you with anybody Jill?"

Jill giggled a bit, "Enrico, aren't you married?"

"That's not what I meant," he muttered, "I mean, are you here with anyone?"

Jill shook her head, "No, I'm alone. Why are you asking?"

"Listen," he explained, "The S.T.A.R.S. are going to be finished soon; someone is a traitor."

He paused for a moment as a red glowing dot appeared on his chest, "Everything was plotted from the start by Umbrella-"

"Um, Enrico, you have something on your chest," Jill pointed out.

"What?" he asked before being cut off by a bullet.

He screeched as the bullet entered his chest and coughed before falling over. Jill turned around as she heard footsteps running off. They stopped after about a minute, then she turned back around to face her now dead team-mate and gasped.

"Oh Enrico!" she wailed as she brought her hand up to her face, "What happened!" She then thought back to the red dot on this chest, "Oh, right. Who killed him I wonder? Oh, I will never get over your untimely-ok, I'm over it."

She then turned around and walked in the direction of the killer she was too stupid to follow before. Enrico coughed slightly as she ran off.

"Jill, wait, I'm still alive…please!"

He then heard a door slam shut, and he cursed softly as he realized she wasn't coming back.

_A/N: I honestly couldn't have done much to make this scene anymore lulzy than it already was. I don't know what the scene is like in the remake (since I've never played it) but it's pretty stupid in the original version. I don't think that Enrico would've died that quickly, unless he was hit right in the heart. Well, feel free to leave a review. Happy early St. Patrick's day!_


	29. Leon Meets Annette

Disclaimer: Resident Evil belongs to CAPCOM. Is my name CAPCOM? No

_Sorry for such the long wait you guys. To be honest, I'm pretty much out of ideas for this fic. I think I've done just about every meeting anyway, save for when Chris meets that Irving guy._ _Also I have part three for the Chat Room up. The link is on my profile page. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter._

As our favorite rookie-cop walked down the hallway, he heard a gun go off behind him. He spun around to see a crazed middle-age blonde holding a gun and a vial of purple goo.

"YOU!" she screamed, "You murdered my husband! I know what you're looking for. You came for my attractive, now unwed body, didn't you? Well you can't have me! THIS is my husband's legacy; next to his G-Virus of course. Now, where's that spy you were with earlier? You know who I'm talking about."

Evidentially she was wrong, because tilted his head and scratched it.

"What?" he asked. Annette chuckled as wiped her face with her hand.

"You really _don't_ know anything do you?"

Leon frowned as he shook his head, "No, not really."

Annette frowned as she continued, "She's one of the operatives sent here by the agency. The only reason she came here was to steal the G-Virus!"

"That's a lie!" Leon exclaimed.

Annette frowned as she shook her head, "No, it's the truth."

"That's a lie!" Leon exclaimed again.

"I'm telling you, it's THE TRUTH!" Annette growled.

"And I'm telling YOU, it's A LIE!" Leon yelled.

"That does it!" Annette yelled as she clutched onto her gun, "I have a long flashback in store for you, and you are going to stand here and listen to it!"

"No! Please, have mercy!" Leon begged.

*FLASHBACK*

"Doctor, we're here to-WHAT THE FUCK?"

The two soldiers stared in disbelief as they saw William sitting at a table across from his G-Virus sample as he had a romantic candle lit dinner going. One of the soldiers began shooting him for no reason as the crazed doctor fell onto the ground clutching his chest.

"Give us the sample!" the soldier yelled as William groaned.

"You idiot!" H.U.N.K. yelled as he grabbed his gun away, "You were supposed to give him orders _before_ you started shooting him!"

H.U.N.K. walked over and looked at a silver brief case lying next to the deranged doctor.

"Hm, this _must_ be the one containing the virus samples!" he said as he picked it up, "Let's move out!"

As the men turned to leave, Annette ran into the room looking panicked.

"_William, oh my!_" she exclaimed as she brushed past the soldiers (who continued to stare in bewilderment).

She then brushed past William and grabbed something off from the counter, "I thought I'd lost my keys! See you later babe!"

"Annette, wait!" William yelled as he watched his wife and the two soldiers leave the room. He growled, and looked down at the vial in his hand, contemplating on what to do with it. Meanwhile, two soldiers stood around in the sewers with a walkie-talkie.

"Alpha team, have you retrieved the sample?" one of them asked H.U.N.K. through a radio.

"Yup," H.U.N.K. answered bluntly.

"Alright, let's go to Carrabba's!" he cheered.

"Aw, I want Denny's," H.U.N.K.'s partner whined.

The scene switched back to William, who injected himself with the G-Virus. Soon, his eyes turned red and he began to turn into something else.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Hold on," Leon asked as he stared at Annette in disbelief, "Are you telling me that soldier didn't like Carraba's!"

Annette became teary-eyed as she nodded, "The restaurant has the ability to turn ordinary food into something better."

*BACK TO FLASHBACK*

A loud scream was heard throughout the sewers, sending the two soldiers into panic.

"What was that!" one of them asked.

"Lady GaGa…HOW SHOULD I KNOW?" the other asked, "Let's check it out."

The scene switched to H.U.N.K. and another soldier shooting at a giant monster.

"Eat this you freak!" he yelled as he partner stood behind him not doing anything. William got mad and sliced them, just as the other two ran in.

"What is that thing!" one of them asked.

William screamed and turned around and stabbed him. He then corned the other guy, who was shooting him. The soldier soon ran out of bullets, and he met his end as well.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"I see," Leon said, "And this helps prove Ada is guilty HOW?"

"It doesn't," Annette said with a sneer, "I just wanted to bore you before I killed you."

Leon gasped as she pulled out her gun. Suddenly, a giant monster in a green trench coat fell from the ceiling and glared at the two.

"OMG, a gun that shoots monsters instead of bullets!" Leon screamed, "I need to get one of those!"

"It wasn't me you idiot!" Annette yelled, "Screw this, I'm outta here!"

And with that, the crazed woman ran out, leaving Leon behind to fight off the beast. He shot it a few times before it fell over, and grabbed some bullets off from it. Why a monster has ammo when it carries no gun is anyone's guess.

_A/N: You're probably tired of Annette's flashbacks, aren't you? Seriously though, almost everyone she bumps into has to hear her life story. It's almost as bad as Tea's friendship speeches from Yu-Gi-Oh. Well, tell me what you thought. _


	30. Leon Meets Sherry

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, I'm just renting it

_Thanks for the reviews guys, just about 24 more and I'll have 200! I hope you all enjoy the new chapter! _

Leon had just placed Sherry down on a bench inside the train when her eyes fluttered slightly.

"C-Claire?" she asked in confusion.

"Claire will be here soon," Leon said, "In the meantime you should rest."

"Who are you?" Sherry asked in confusion.

"I'm Leon," he answered with a smile, "I'm a friend of Claire's."

"Leon…," Sherry muttered as she attempted to place the name.

*FLASHBACK*

Sherry whimpered and latched onto Claire. Claire's radio beeped, so she answered it.

"Leon, come in," she said, "I found the girl."

"Excellent," Leon said, "I'll meet you in the sewer."

"Over and out," Claire said as she clicked the off button.

The girl let go of her and asked, "Who was that?"

"Oh, that's just Leon," Claire answered, "he's a pedophile: you'll be staying with him."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Sherry's eyes became as big as saucers and she sat up and started to scream. Leon covered his ears as he stared at her in confusion.

"Sherry, calm down!" he ordered as he grabbed her arm.

She screamed louder and stood up. The girl cried as she ran off the train with Leon following behind her. He groaned as she ran through two steel gates.

"Well it can't get any worse," he muttered to himself.

Suddenly the floor started to shake followed by a boom.

"FIVE MINUTES UNTIL DETENATION!" a female voice announced.

"OH GOD!" Leon exclaimed as he followed after the girl.

The two ran across a bridge hanging over the train which led to a steel door. Leon followed the girl through the door, and found her cowering near a power box several feet away from a hot led pool.

"There you are," he sighed in relief, "Now, let's get outta here."

Suddenly, he heard something land behind him. He turned around and faced a large, gray monster with claws, and was partially on fire. It roared dramatically as it spread its arms out for show. Sherry cried as Leon tried shooting at it. It skid across the room and struck him with its claws. Leon and Sherry moved as he tried shooting it some more.

"Here, use this!" someone yelled from above him.

Sherry screamed as a giant rocket launcher fell from above and nearly landed on top of her.

"Ada, is that you? ADA!"

"SHUT UP AND USE THE DAMN GUN!" Sherry yelled.

Leon snapped out of his daze and picked it up. He then grinned and did a dramatic pose.

"Game over," he commented. He then pulled the trigger and a giant bullet shot out of it. The bullet hit the monster in the chest, causing it to splatter into a billion little pieces.

"That was gross," Sherry commented.

"Yes it was," Leon agreed, "Now, let's get out of here before we end up like him…oh, and if Claire asks, you were asleep on the train the whole time."

"A-alright," she agreed, "Just don't ever let yourself be alone with me again."

_A/N: Dun, and that is why Sherry went with the 'government' instead of just staying with Leon. I've actually had this idea bouncing around in my head for about a year now. Just goes to show how lazy I am. Tell me what you thought about this chapter. _


	31. Chris & Sheva Meet Irving

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks for the reviews guys. Hopefully once summer comes I'll have more free time to update this more often. Anyway, read and enjoy._

Chris and Sheva walked up the metal steps and were now standing outside an office door. The two exchanged nods and barged in, startling a man standing at a desk.

"Dirt freeze bag-I mean, freeze dirt bag!" Chris yelled.

Sheva shook her head in embarrassment. Irving cursed as he turned around and pulled out a gun, then pointed it at the two.

"Terrible voice, dressed like a pimp: you must be Irving," Sheva commented.

"Perceptive, aren't 'cha?" he asked.

"You think this is a joke?" she asked, "You're just like all the other pieces of scum terrorists!"

Irving's facial features relaxed slightly, "Oh, I'm not like them."

He then placed his hand over his chest, "I'm a business man with _standards!_"

"Can you be a little more feminine?" Sheva asked sarcastically, "That wasn't quite gay enough for me."

"Don't encourage him!" Chris pleaded.

"You shut up!" Irving growled.

"Drop the weapon, and the attitude!" Chris ordered.

"Or…how 'bout you drop yours?" Irving challenged.

"How stupid do you think we are?" Sheva commented, "Chris, pick up your gun!"

Chris frowned and blushed, then bent over to retrieve his weapon. Sheva shook her head as Irving chuckled slightly. Suddenly, something came in through the window and gas began pouring out of it. The three began coughing and gagging as it flooded the room.

"How did that happen?" Sheva demanded, "The window was closed!"

"It must've been the bomb's ghost!" Chris exclaimed, to which Sheva gave him a funny look.

As they coughed and gagged some more, a figure in a cloak swung towards the window on a rope. The figure hit the window with a loud thud and fell down. Irving stared in confusion as the figure lifted up a ladder and used it to climb through the window. When she finally got inside she did a pose and pulled the annoying business man away.

"Suckers!" Irving laughed right before being bumped in the head from being dragged through the window. Soon, the gas began to clear.

"Aw crap!" Sheva groaned.

After the gas cleared up, the two got up to look out the window. They looked everywhere for signs of the two, but there were none.

"Looks like Irving's got a partner," Sheva pointed out, "and apparently she's a cosplayer."

Chris groaned as he walked back towards the desk, "There must be something here he didn't want us to see."

"His make-up perhaps?" Sheva chuckled.

Chris held up a tube of lipstick and Sheva's giggling died down.

"Just kidding," Chris said with a grin, "I snatched it from your purse."

"Why?" she asked. He frowned.

"Uh…it's not important. Now then, he's got a bunch of papers here…"

He opened up a folder and began flipping through various papers.

"Lets see: Wesker's report 3…Biohazard 5 cheat codes; whatever that is…voice acting lessons from Alfred Ashford…pictures of Rebecca; everyone's got those…what's this?"

He held up a map and several pictures for Sheva. Written on the map in marker was the title 'Evil Plans: Do NOT Let Anyone See'.

"An oil field?" she asked, "That's in the marshlands."

"Perceptive aren't cha?" Chris teased.

Sheva shot him a glare, and he immediately clammed up. He cleared his throat and closed the folder up. Chris pulled out his walkie talkie to talk to Josh.

"Chris here. We located Irving, but he got away."

"Do you know where he went?" Josh asked from the other line.

"We think he's heading for the oil field."

"The oil field? That's in the marshlands!"

"…um, yeah, we know."

"Okay, we'll go find him. You two come back this way."

"You're not the boss of me!" Chris retorted as he hung up, "Come on Sheva, let's get Irving!"

_A/N: Man, Chris just can't get her to lighten up, can he? Between Alfred and Irving I'm thinking that CAPCOM has some kind of weird voice fetish or something. And how DID the smoke bomb get through the window like that? Major plot hole/fail there! Anyway, feel free to leave a review. _


	32. Leon Meets Salazar

Disclaimer: lıʌǝ ʇuǝpısǝɹ uʍo ʇou op ı

_Thanks again for the reviews y'all! Woot, fifty people have added this fic to their favorites list! Awesome! Thanks for the faves y'all! Anyway, I hope you like this new chapter._

As Leon and Ashley walked around they were frozen by the sound of creepy laughter. The two looked up and saw a short man in colonial-style clothing standing up on a balcony.

"Oh my God, Chucky got old!" Leon exclaimed.

"I'm not a doll!" the man yelled, "Me llamo Ramon Salazar; the eighth owner of this magnificent architecture!"

"Ugh, why does everyone keep speaking in Spanish?" Leon groaned.

Salazar frowned and continued, "I have been honored with the prestigious power from the great lord Satan-uh, Saddler."

The small man smiled and bowed, "I've been expecting you my brethrens!"

"Uh, Ashley's a chick!" Leon snorted, "And I don't have any siblings!"

Salazar shook his head, "My, my, we got a stupid one. If you care for your well being I suggest you surrender yourself and simply…become our love slave-er, hostage. Or Mr. Scott, you can give us the girl because you're not worth a penny I'm afraid. You can die!"

Leon frowned as he watched the small man and his guards walk off.

"Well duh, a penny's not worth much!" Leon mumbled, "My mom once traded me for a carton of milk though."

Ashley started to panic, "I'm never turning into one of them! Their sense of fashion is horrible!"

"You got that right; we'll find a cure. And if we can't, then I'll just kill you."

Ashley smiled, "Thanks Leon, you're the best!"

The two then walked off to encounter more trouble in the creepy castle.

_A/N: Wow, that was shorter than I expected. The meeting itself was pretty short though…as was Salazar. His laughter scared the hell outta me. Feel free to leave a review._


	33. Claire Meets Marvin

Disclaimer: I dO nOt OwN rEsIdEnT eViL

_Thanks again for the reviews y'all. I can't believe how close I am to 200 reviews. I've uploaded the fourth part of my chat room series. The link for that is on my profile page. In the meantime, let's move onto the next meeting. Enjoy!_

Claire heard a man groan upon entering the room. She looked down to her left and saw someone sitting on the ground and covered in blood. She walked over and knelt down beside him.

"Hang in there," she asked, "are you the only officer left alive in this building?"

He turned to look at her, and blushed slightly, "Who-who are you?"

"I'm Claire Redfield," she introduced, oblivious to the fact he was staring at her chest, "I'm looking for my brother Chris."

"We lost contact with him over ten days ago," he said with a frown, "Chris, Jill, Barry, and every other S.T.A.R.S. member switched to Verizon, and our plan wouldn't let us call anyone outside our circle. We should've listened to them."

"What happened?"

"Two months ago, there was this incident involving zombie-like creatures located in a mansion in the outskirts of this city. We discovered it was just another Justin Bieber concert; but the next week, B.O.W's got loose and killed most of the S.T.A.R.S. members."

He stopped for a moment to catch up on his breath, and then continued.

"Chris, and the other S.T.A.R.S. members discovered that, Umbrella was behind everything, at the risk of their own lives. But nobody believed them." He then stopped and groaned loudly.

"Are you okay?" Claire asked.

"Oh sure," he spat, "Never mind the blood and the fact that I've been bitten; I'm in the best shape of my life!"

Claire opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off.

"Just forget it. Go rescue the survivors in the other rooms. Take this key card; you should be able to unlock the doors in the hall with this. Now go."

"But-"

"JUST GO!" he yelled as he held a gun to her head.

"Uh, okay," she said, taken aback as she stood up, "I'll be back soon, just hang in there."

She turned around and stopped to stare at something.

"Why is there a half naked zombie?" she asked.

"JUST GO!" Marvin yelled.

_A/N: Poor Marvin; he just wanted to party, but he got infected instead. Yes, this meeting takes place right after Leon met up with Marvin, hence the half naked zombie. Feel free to leave a review. _


	34. Jill Meets Brad

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, or Harry Potter

_Thanks again for the reviews everybody! These updates are coming awful fast, huh? Well I suppose that's good for y'all. I hope you all like the new chapter. _

Jill continued walking through the alley ways, but stopped when she heard gun fire. She looked down and saw her team mate, Brad, shooting at some zombies. Jill walked down to help him, but he ran off upon seeing her. Jill continued chasing after him, and eventually came to a bar, where he was facing off against a monster.

"Ugh!" he groaned as a zombie chewed on him, "GET AWAY!"

The zombie stopped and looked at him.

"I'm very sorry," it spoke, "I will leave you alone."

Brad and Jill stared at it in amazement.

"R-Really?" he asked.

"NO!" it groaned as it charged after him.

The cowardly man screamed and held his arms out. Jill whipped out her gun and shot the monster in the head, causing it to fall over. Brad panted and groaned as he let himself fall onto the floor. Jill sighed and approached him.

"Brad, why isn't someone doing something about this?"

He groaned as he lowered his head, "Nobody's trained to fight monsters. What could anyone do?"

"Not that," Jill grumbled, "I meant this bar. Seriously, there's no pinball machine in here?"

Brad gave her a funny look, then shook his head and stood up.

"Listen Jill, he's coming for us. We're both gonna die!"

"Who?"

"Voldemort! He's after S.T.A.R.S. members; there's no escape!"

"What if we just quit S.T.A.R.S?" Jill asked as he reached for the door.

Brad shook his head at her suggestion.

"No, that would just be too easy. What we need to do is split up and wander around the city aimlessly."

"Th-That's a horrible idea!" Jill shouted.

"So is wearing those boots with that skirt," he retorted, "I'm outta here!"

Jill stared with her mouth agape as he ran out of the building. She growled and looked around for ammo.

"Ugh, the nerve of him! I hope he gets impaled; right in the face!"

_A/N: Poor Brad. He can't help it if he's a coward. I wonder what was going on in his head though when he applied to work with the Police Department. Seriously, that's probably the last place a faint-hearted person should be working at. Feel free to leave a review. _


	35. William & Wesker Meet Marcus

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, or Jesus. That would be very weird if I did

_Thank you again for the reviews everyone! To the reviewer who asked me to do __Claire and Leon; I did their meeting back in chapter six. I know it's probably hard to keep track of all these meetings because they're not in order; I might fix this after I finish up the fic, but then again maybe not. I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Anyhow, read and enjoy._

William Birkin and his old research partner Wesker were watching the Marcus mansion through security cameras. A tall guy and small framed girl were standing around looking at a portrait of the late doctor.

"Who on Earth are those people?" William asked.

"She's just a rookie," Wesker answered, "a member of S.T.A.R.S."

"Isn't she a bit young?"

"You joined Umbrella when you were sixteen," Wesker pointed out.

"Touché," his friend grumbled, "I guess I just have a thing against women succeeding. What about the male; is he successful? Cuz I can live with that."

"I'm not familiar with-"

"ATTENTION!" a voice called out, causing William to jump, "This is Doctor Marcus! Please be silent as we reflect upon our company motto: Get rich, or die trying!"

Suddenly the monitor went fuzzy, and the image changed to that of a long-haired man in a robe who was chuckling.

"Oh my God, it's Jesus!" William exclaimed, "The second coming has arrived! I've gotta call Annette and-"

"Don't be an idiot William," Wesker grumbled, "Jesus has a beard."

"Oh. Who are you blasphemer!" he demanded.

The man grinned and chuckled some more.

"It was I who scattered the T-Virus throughout the mansion," he spoke, "Needless to say I contaminated the train too."

"WHAT? NO!" William cried as he slammed his fists on the control panels, "That train was like a child to me…except I cared about it!"

The man closed his eyes and spoke some more, "Revenge…on Umbrella!"

Slowly he spread his arms out as a dramatic hymn began to play. The two scientists stared dumbfounded as leeches piled up on top of each other.

"Um, where is that music coming from?" Wesker asked.

The leeches piled up more, and began taking on a new form. Within seconds, they transformed into the late scientist.

"He resurrected Doctor Marcus!" William exclaimed, and then turned to Wesker, "I told you he was Jesus!"

The mysterious man chuckled as he walked away from the transformed creature.

"Ten years ago Doctor Marcus was murdered by Umbrella," he narrated, "You helped them, didn't you?"

It couldn't be seen because of the sunglasses, but Wesker was narrowing his eyes at him. William cried as he threw himself onto the panels.

"YES! It's all true! Please forgive me oh merciful savior!"

"Oh for the love of-he's not Jesus!" Wesker yelled.

The man chuckled as the screen went back to the mansion. The S.T.A.R.S. captain growled slightly as his partner sniffled.

"The Jehovah's Witnesses were right, and I didn't listen! I've got to alert my local church!"

"William, he is NOT Jesus! And you don't go to church!"

"And _that's _my problem!" William retorted as he headed for the door, "Should I join the Presbyterians or Catholics? Ou! What about Baptists?"

Wesker sighed as he rubbed his temples, "Ugh…the First Church of Wesker, which is in the bathroom. Stay there and pray for the rest of the night and leave me alone!"

"You got it!" the messy scientist said cheerfully upon leaving.

The S.T.A.R.S. captain sighed as he shook his head, and then a grin slowly crept over his face.

"First Church of Wesker…I like the sound of that."

_A/N: And that is how Wesker's plans got started. William seemed a bit too distraught over the train. He didn't say anything about the mansion, but the moment the train was brought up he kind of flipped out. It's almost like CAPCOM purposely screws with the script so people can make fun of it. Well, feel free to leave a review._


	36. Claire Meets Kendo

Disclaimer: live tnediser nwo ton od I

_Thank you again for the reviews everybody! Because of your dedication this fic now has over 200 reviews, over 20,000 hits, and is on the favorites list of 55 members! To celebrate I'm giving you a two for one deal. Enjoy!_

Claire had just entered the gun shop, and saw a man reading a newspaper. She stood there for about a minute, awaiting his acknowledgement. She cleared her throat, but still got no response. Finally, she took a step forward, which caused him to jump and pull out a bow gun.

"FREEZE!" he ordered, "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Don't shoot, I'm a human!" she begged.

He stood and stared for a moment, then put the gun down.

"Oh, sorry about that babe," he apologized as he approached her, "I thought you were one of them."

"Zombies can't open doors," she pointed out.

"I was talking about Hannah Montana fans," he corrected, "Those things are scary!"

She stopped and stared, unsure of what to say about that. Claire finally decided to get back on subject.

"What's going on?"

"Hold on," the man said as he locked the door, "I ain't got no clue darling. By the time I noticed something was wrong, the entire Disney channel was infested with bad shows!"

"I was talking about the town," she grumbled.

"Oh that," he answered, "A virus broke out and everyone's a monster now. It's Umbrella's fault. But don't you worry girlie, you'll be safe in here."

Claire then noticed that he was staring at her chest.

"I'm keeping a close eye on things," he said with a grin.

She growled and pushed him back, which sent him crashing through the window. A group of preteen girls wearing blonde wigs rushed over and started feeding on him. Claire stood horrified as the man screamed for help, and finally died. Claire grabbed some bullets and ran out through the back door for her life.

_A/N: I meant no offense to any Hannah Montana fans, I know they aren't that bad. That guy was an idiot. Keeping a close eye by rear end! I still felt bad that he got eaten though. Feel free to leave a review._


	37. Chris Meets Richard

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, or Harry Potter

_Alright everyone, here's the extra chapter. Enjoy!_

Chris continued walking through the hallway, and spotted somebody lying on the ground next to Rebecca. He gasped as he realized who it was.

"Richard!" he exclaimed as he rushed to his side, completely ignoring Rebecca, "What happened?"

The wounded man turned his head to face him.

"Oh Chris, this house is dangerous! There are terrible demons-ouch!"

Rebecca and Chris cringed as blood squirted out of Richard's chest. He coughed lightly and put his hand over the wound.

"Hang in there," Chris said, "What attacked you?"

"It-It was a snake," Rebecca answered for him, "A giant, poisonous snake!"

*FLASHBACK*

Richard stared in awe as he entered the room. It was very spacious, with a line of snake head statues on the walls all leading up to a giant, concrete head at the far end of the room. He spotted a figure lying in a pool of water before the head. He squinted his eyes and recognized it.

"Rebecca!" he exclaimed as he rushed towards her.

He kneeled down beside her and started to shake her, but got no response.

"She won't wake," a voice said from beside him.

He looked over and saw what appeared to be a teenage version of Wesker wearing a lab coat.

"Captain Wesker?" he asked, "Why? What's wrong with her? She's not…"

"She's still alive, but only just," he assured as he walked towards him.

"Did you get too close to a microwave or something, why are you so short, and thin?"

"I'm a memory," the young Wesker answered, "I've been preserved in a memo report for twenty years."

Richard ignored him and went back to observing Rebecca. Unbeknownst to him the young Wesker grabbed the gun from Richard's back pocket. He jumped and turned around to face his young captain.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, "Give me my gun."

"You won't be needing it," Wesker answered cooly.

Richard shook his head, "We've got to save Rebecca and get out of here!"

Wesker grinned as he pointed the gun at him.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that," he hissed, "You see, as poor Rebecca grows weaker, the fan base grows stronger."

Richard gave him a funny look.

"Yes Richard, we are all part of a video game."

He stared at him in horror with his mouth agape.

"N-NO!" he protested, "We-we can't…"

Wesker ignored him and continued, "And it is I who is supposed to be the villain, but the creators want to get rid of me and make the series all about the monsters. So, I've devised a plan to preserve myself, so that I may return and rule the series once more!"

He then turned his back to Richard, and faced the giant, concrete head. He spoke some kind of hissing gibberish with beeping and dial-up sounds as x's, o's, and triangles appeared above the statue from nowhere. Suddenly, the mouth to the statue began to slide open.

"Cheat codes won't save you this time," Wesker hissed, "the programming only obeys me now!"

Richard screamed as a giant snake squirmed out of the mouth. Rebecca suddenly woke up, and turned to face where the sound was coming from. Her eyes widened and she screamed as the giant snake went after her team-mate. The snake turned its head to face her, and began charging after her instead.

"NO!" Richard cried as he ran to her rescue.

Before the snake could strike, he got in the way, resulting in him being bitten instead of Rebecca. She cried and grabbed him, and dragged him out of the room as Wesker laughed at their misfortune.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"Wow," Chris said as he stared at the two in disbelief, "You lost your gun?"

"I think you're missing the point!" Richard growled, getting annoyed, "Captain Wesker, or at least his teenage version, is a traitor! He's going to-"

"Don't worry about a thing," the brunette said as he stood up, "I'm going to go get you that serum. Just hang in there!"

The blonde man stared dumbfounded as he watched the man walk away.

"I'm leaving too," Rebecca said as she stood up, "I'm going to find some herbs to mix up for you."

"Rebecca!" he pleaded as she left the room, "Eff!"

_A/N: Poor Richard, if Fawkes had come sooner and delivered the sword then he'd be okay. And no, I don't have a problem with Becky. I've just noticed that a lot of the fans don't like her so I thought it'd be a good punch line. Feel free to leave a review. _


	38. Jill & Carlos Meet Murphy

Disclaimer: Attention readers! My hair does not own Resident Evil…or Yu-Gi-Oh Abriged!

_Sorry for such the long wait guys. I've been pretty busy these past few weeks. Not to mention I've had some writer's block lately. After I finish up my fics I'm going on hiatus for a while. Anyway, I hope you all like the new chapter._

Jill sighed in relief as she walked inside the building, which looked quite clean and organized compared to all the others.

"Finally, some peace," she grumbled.

"NO!" a familiar voice cried out.

"So much for that," she mumbled as she walked towards the voice.

She entered what appeared to be a small office, where Carlos and another mercenary where standing. The other mercenary was covered in blood and was sickly pale.

"Don't make me do this!" Carlos pleaded.

"You have to!" his partner said, "I've been contaminated! Kill me before it's too late!"

"I can't!" Carlos spat as he cringed.

"I'm barely human anymore. Do it, before I become one of _them_. KILL ME!"

Carlos turned his head and began firing. He screamed out as the bullets splattered against his partner and sent him falling onto the ground. After a while he finally stopped, and started to catch his breath. Jill approached him as he stared down at his old friend.

"Is someone wounded back here?" she asked.

Carlos spun around and looked at her.

"What the-are you retarded?" he exclaimed.

Jill stared at him, and then gave him a glare as she put her hand on her hip.

"Why didn't you just give him herbs? We get bitten all the time, and herbs usually do the trick," she pointed out.

Carlos' eyes widened, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well…I…um…," he drawled.

"You hadn't thought of that, have you?"

"…No," he admitted as he bowed his head.

The S.T.A.R.S. member shook her head at him.

"And you call me stupid," she mumbled.

"You know what lady?" Carlos spat, "You just…you…"

He shook his head, and then ran out of the building. Jill stared off as she watched him leave.

"Loser," she mumbled.

_A/N: Poor Murphy. Seriously, why didn't anyone use an aid spray or something? I find it amazing that the main characters don't get turned into zombies; they just die. Unless of course they turn into zombies right after dying, which they probably do, but you'd think they'd turn sooner after getting bit so many times. Sigh. Anyway, feel free to leave a review. _


	39. Carlos Meets Tyrell

Disclaimer: E tu hud ufh Nacetaht Ajem

_Thanks again for the reviews. I found out something interesting: the time span where Jill was unconscious in RE3 is when the events in RE2 took place. It's like RE3 is a prequel AND sequel to that game. I love that game; unfortunately every copy I've ever gotten stops working after like, a week. Anyway, I hope you all like the new chapter. Enjoy_

Carlos walked into a room and heard a scream, followed by a gun shot. He walked towards the space behind a wall, and saw his leader standing before his team-mate Tyrell, who was on the ground covered in blood.

"Is someone wounded back here?" he asked.

Nicholai turned to face him, "You saw what happened?"

"Yeah," he answered, "but I'm still not sure what's going on."

"I'm secretly on Umbrella's side to collect data on zombies and B.O.W's so they can improve them to help their cause in global domination; that's all you need to know!"

He then whipped out his gun and pointed it at Carlos.

"Whoa, wait a sec, what's going on?" he asked.

Tyrell, still alive, pulled out a grenade a removed the tab. The two looked over at him and realized what he'd done. Carlos took off into the next area and Nicholai jumped through the window just as the explosion occurred. Carlos grunted, and walked back to look at the remains of his team-mate.

"What the hell man?" he asked, "I was standing right here! You could've barbequed us both!"

Tyrell of course didn't respond since he was now scattered around the room.

"This is just like you!" Carlos continued to rave, "All you ever think about is yourself! That's why none of your relationships have ever worked out! For once would it kill you to think about other people?"

He paused, as if waiting for some sort of response. He growled and turned around.

"You know what? I'm done! I'm going to go get some medicine for my new friend, _because that's what good people do, they look out for others!_"

He then walked out of the room, leaving Tyrell's remains to think about what he'd said.

_A/N: Yeah, Jill's ditziness is rubbing off on Carlos. Seriously though, his team-mate was standing right there! I guess he figured Carlos was about to die anyway, but still. Anyway, tell me what you thought about this chapter and the story so far. PS: I will give bonus points to whoever can tell me what language the disclaimer is in._


	40. Chris Meets Enrico

Disclaimer: If I owned Resident Evil, there'd still be zombies

_Thank you for the reviews everybody. Bonus points go to_ Hidden By Shadow _for figuring out that the disclaimer was written in Al Bhed, a language from Final Fantasy 10 & 10-2. I was hoping to have the fifth Chat Room done by now, but my Windows Movie Maker sucks, so I don't know when it'll be done. I'm honestly thinking about just buying another software. Anyway, I hope you all like this new chapter._

Chris walked around the dark tunnel looking for a way out, or for some of his team-mates. As he turned a corner, he saw someone sitting on the ground.

"Enrico!" he called out, as he recognized him.

He rushed over to his side, but Enrico stuck out his arm.

"Don't come any closer," he ordered.

"Wait, what happened?" Chris asked.

"Double crosser!" Enrico yelled.

"What? But I don't wear dresses!" he protested.

Enrico shook his head, "I mean, you're a traitor!"

"Oooooh," Chris said, "…Wait! No I'm not!"

The disgruntled man ignored him and pulled out a gun.

"Don't!" Chris yelled as he tried to shield himself with his arm, thinking that would help.

Suddenly, a gun went off, and Enrico groaned. Chris put down his arm and saw that his team-mate was bleeding.

"What the? Umbrella!" he grumbled before falling over.

Chris turned around to where the sound had come from.

"Huh? Who is it? Is somebody there?" he asked.

"Uh…no," a voice answered.

"Oh, okay," he said as footsteps rang out, followed by a door closing.

The idiotic S.T.A.R.S. member turned back to look at his now dead team-mate.

"Traitor?" he asked himself, "What did he mean by that?"

He pulled out a dictionary and browed under the T's until he came across the word he was searching for.

"A traitor is one who is disloyal, one who commits treason against his/her country, a supervillian from DC Comics, a BBC drama that appeared on Play for Today in the 70's, Albert Wesker, and one who is faithless...I still don't get it. Oh well."

Chris then took Enrico's ammo and walked away.

_A/N: Sheesh, the characters sure were dense in the first game, huh? Honestly, did he think Enrico shot himself or something? And why didn't Wesker just let Enrico kill Chris? That would've saved him so much trouble! Sigh. Feel free to leave a review. _


	41. Claire Meets Rodrigo

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil or The Matrix

_Thanks again for the reviews everyone. The fifth part of my Chat Room is now up, and the link for it is on my profile page. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter and video. _

Claire panted as she ran through the Paris lab facility. Why the French were interested in Biological Warfare items it is not known, but alas, there the lab was. She desperately searched for an exit as guards followed behind shooting at her.

A bright light blinded her as she ran to the window. She raised her arms slightly and saw that a helicopter was hovering there. As it began warming up its guns, she turned and ran off. The soldiers screamed as the bullets hit them. Claire managed to out run them in slow motion and while running on the side of the walls. The soldiers' remains transformed into regular citizens as Claire continued moving in slow motion.

The firing stopped momentarily as the pilot turned on his thermal sensors. As soon as it picked her up, he began firing again, and missing his target completely. Claire continued to run for the Exit, and once she came close enough she jumped through the door and tumbled down some steps. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath.

"Good thing I'm faster than a bullet _and_ helicopter," she panted.

As she stood up she noticed there were about twenty armed soldiers in the room. A thin brunette in a suit with sunglasses stepped forward.

"Mr. Anderson," he spoke.

Claire rubbed her eyes, and looked again, only this time it was just a group of soldiers standing around.

"God, now I know what it feels like to be Annette," she grumbled.

The soldiers cocked their guns, and she realized she was screwed. She raised her arms in defeat, but then noticed a conveniently placed set of flammable barrels right behind the soldiers. She dropped her gun slowly, and then picked it up and fired at the barrels. A large explosion was emitted, killing and knocking out most of them.

She smiled and laughed as she stood up. A man appeared from behind her with a gun in his hand. She turned around and pointed the gun at him; quickly realizing it was a draw.

"Don't move," Rodrigo ordered.

Claire stared at him blankly, and what happened next was a complete blur. Seriously, to this day it is not known exactly how she was captured and brought to the island.

_A/N: Poor Annette, nobody has any respect for her. Claire didn't do a very good job at 'sneaking' into the labs. She was still wearing her normal clothes and everything. I would've thrown on a lab coat or something, at least try to blend in. Well, feel free to leave a review. _


	42. Wesker Meets Spencer

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, or Star Wars, or The Dark Knight, or China

_Thanks again for the reviews everybody. Sorry I've taken so long to update. I can't believe it's been nearly two years since I started this: and I still have nine or ten more chapters to go. I am slow. Now then, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter. _

Wesker walked around the dark room as the ancient Umbrella founder sat in his wheelchair sharing his deepest secrets.

"The new superior breed of humans could be birthed by the Progenitor virus. The Wesker children were entrusted with endless potential."

He seemed to become a bit teary eyed as he turned his head slightly to face the blond super human.

"Of them, only one survived," he spoke, "You."

Wesker turned his head to him, "Are you saying I was manufactured?"

"Why yes," Spencer answered, "You and the other Wesker children were assembled and packaged in China; which is how the others ended up dying from lead poisoning due to low quality safety standards. Also, they messed up and gave you Heath Ledger's voice."

The tall blond looked at the 'Made in China' mark on his wrist as Spencer coughed and continued.

"I was to become a _God_; establishing a new Genesis with _me_ as the creator. However, all was lost with Raccoon City."

"I knew I shouldn't have taken you to Sunday School," Wesker grumbled as he balled up his fists.

The old man paused for a moment, and then chose to ignore him and continue.

"Despite that set back, your creation still holds great significance. Now, my candle burns thinly."

Spencer turned to look at the candles on the end table next to him, which were starting to go out.

"I really should've paid my electric bill."

Wesker scowled at him, "Your lips keep moving, but all I hear is 'something, something virus, something, something right to be God'. You remind me of the Emperor from Star Wars, which I guess makes me Vader…it was the Emperor that manipulated Shmi's midichlorians, resulting in Anakin's creation, right? I never really understood it."

Spencer gasped for air again, and slowly stood up and turned to face his creation.

"Ironic; the one with a right to be a God should face mortality."

He looked up at Wesker, who continued to scowl at him.

"Again with the God thing Palpatine, it's getting old; although, it would be fun for me to try. Now then, I want you to answer me one question before you die: Why so Sidious?"

Wesker then punched the old man, which resulted in his hand going all the way through and making a gaping hole. He blinked and stared in amazement.

"Wow, you weren't kidding: you are in a fragile state."

He then pushed the old man off and let his corpse fall over. He stared at his creator in disgust.

"The right to be a God? You? Arrogant even until the end. Only one capable of truly being a God deserves that right."

Wesker turned his head towards the door as he heard voices.

"Chris, this is dumb, what makes you think Spencer will lead us to-"

Jill and Chris stared blankly at Wesker as he shot a glare at them.

"Take him down!" Chris screamed.

The two opened fire on him as Wesker dodged the bullets by moving around at the speed of light. He quickly moved towards Chris and knocked the gun out of his hand and knocked him down. He then lunged at Jill and grabbed her by the throat. Chris rushed over and pushed Wesker off her, then tried to take punches at him. Jill attempted to shoot at him, but failed because he kept dodging the bullets. She then rushed over and tried hitting him instead, and he pushed her against a bookcase.

As Jill got up and tried to catch her breath, Wesker grabbed her partner and slid him across the table, then threw him in front of the window. He then approached him and picked him up by the throat, ready to choke him.

"NO!" Jill screamed as she ran towards him.

"Now then," Wesker asked, oblivious to what Jill was doing, "Why so serious?"

He balled up his fist, ready to kill his long time rival, then Jill pushed him, and unfortunately herself, out the window.

"At least I got to glomp Wesker," she said to herself as the two fell off the cliff.

Chris stared in horror and looked out the window.

"JILL!" he cried.

_A/N: Am I the only person who thinks Wesker kind of sounds like the Joker, or am I crazy? Btw, Sidious is Emperor Palpatine's sith name, in case you were wondering what Wesker was talking about. Well, feel free to leave a review._


	43. Leon Meets Hunnigan

Disclaimer: ฉันไม่ได้มีถิ่นที่อยู่ของตัวเองชั่วร้าย

_Thanks again for the reviews guys. I guess I wasn't clear enough in the fic summary, but I'm only doing meetings from the main games, meaning I won't be covering Survivor, Dead Aim, Outbreak, etc. That would be more time consuming and I have more fics that I'd like to move onto. Maybe after I'm done and out of ideas I'll cover them, but for now I'm just doing the main games. Well, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter. _

Leon had just gotten out of the vehicle with the two jerks when his radio made a sound. He pulled it out of his pocket and brought it to his ear. Suddenly, his face was on a small screen next to a woman wearing glasses.

"Leon," she spoke, "I hope you can hear me. I'm Ingrid Hunnigan; I'll be supporting you on this mission."

"I can," he said, "I can see you too."

Hunnigan looked shocked at this, "You can? But, isn't the radio up against your ear?"

"Yeah," he answered, "It's not near my eye at all, but I can see you somehow. In fact, I can see myself too. Hi Leon!"

She was silent for a moment, "...O-okay."

"So the girl's name is Ashley Graham, right?"

"That's right; she's the daughter of the president, so try to behave yourself. Okay?"

"The president?" Leon asked, "But I thought his name was Bu-"

"SH!" she interrupted, "We don't talk about him."

Leon looked confused, but followed her advice.

"Okay. Well, whoever this group is they sure picked the wrong girl to kidnap."

"I'll try to find more information on my end as well," Hunnigan said.

"That's funny."

"What?"

"Well, on the screen it says you're saying 'I'll try to find more information on them on my end as well', but you left out 'on them' when you spoke," he elaborated.

Hunnigan stared blankly, "This…this is getting weird."

"I'll say," Leon agreed, "Anyway, I'm gonna go rescue Annie."

"Ashley," Hunnigan corrected.

"Whatever," Leon commented as he hung up.

He put away his radio and whipped out his gun, and proceeded to begin his mission.

_A/N: Wow, Leon's being observant for once. Sorry this was so short, but the meeting itself was quite brief. Btw, the disclaimer is in Thai. I thought it looked cool so I decided to use it. Anyway, feel free to leave a review._


	44. Chris Meets Rodrigo

Disclaimer: Iway oday otnay ownway Esidentray Evilway orway Emorstray

_Thanks again for the reviews gang. I tell you, I have the worst luck with computers. My browser was hijacked so I tried removing it with Malware Bytes. Well, the virus was removed, but so was the file that makes my start bar and icons appear. For a while I thought my hard-drive had been wiped out (again), but luckily it was nothing serious, which is good because I wouldn't have been able to update my stories until I got another computer. Talk about a close call. Anyway, I hope you all like the new chapter. _

Chris had just arrived on the island, dropping hip gears and avoiding tremors. After his entrance collapsed, he turned a corner and stumbled upon an injured man laying on the ground.

"I didn't expect to find another living person left on this island," the man spoke, "Who are you?"

"I came here looking for a certain girl," Chris answered as he approached him.

"E-Harmony would've been easier."

Chris knelt down beside him, "Have you seen anyone named Claire Redfield?"

Rodrigo lifted his head as the memory returned to him.

"Did you just say Claire?"

"You know who she is, don't you?" Chris asked as he placed his hand on the man's shoulder.

Rodrigo swatted his hand away.

"Don't worry about her. I helped her escape. Several planes took off the island not long ago. While I can't say for certain, she was probably on one of them."

Chris stayed silent for a moment.

"I see," he said as the man bowed his head, "I guess my sister owes you. Thanks for helping her."

Rodrigo smiled slightly, "You're very nice. In spite of the pain, this is a very touching moment. Nothing could possibly ruin-"

Suddenly a giant worm popped out of the dirt and screeched.

"GRABOID!" Chris yelled.

"SAVE ME KEVIN BACON!" Rodrigo yelled.

The worm lunged at Rodrigo and consumed him, and returned to the Earth. Chris ran out of the room and into a large cave-like room, where the worm could be seen moving below the surface. The worm popped out and screeched.

"Oh man, what do I do?" Chris asked himself.

Suddenly, the screen froze and the hue changed. Two options appeared on the screen: Chase off cliff, or shoot with gun.

"Hm," he pondered, "I could reenact one of my favorite movies and get him killed, or I could shoot it and get him killed…I'm going with B."

Chris whipped out his gun and started shooting at it. After shooting it about a billion times, the worm finally wailed, and spit the man out. It then fell onto it's side and died. Chris rushed over to the man, who was groaning in pain and managed to avoid being hit by the bullets.

"Don't worry," he assured, "You're gonna make it."

The man merely gave a light laugh, "It looks like I get to meet my family again…in the blazing depths of hell…here, take this."

Rodrigo handed Chris a lighter.

"What?" he asked.

"She gave this to me," Rodrigo explained, "as a token of thanks for saving her. I don't need it…not where I'm going…"

He then fell over, and slowly but surely drifted from the world of the living. Chris looked over his body briefly, and then something occurred to him.

"Whoa, hold on!" he exclaimed, "He survived receiving internal injuries, the island exploding on top of him, and being shot at by my gun, but being spit out of a giant worm killed him? What the heck?"

He then shook his head, and proceeded to continue his mission.

_A/N: Poor Rodrigo, he may have made some mistakes, but he was good at heart. Seriously, like, we're supposed to believe that being inside a worm for 5 minutes killed off a man who survived a hundred ton of TNT's going off? Major CAPCOM fail. Anyway, feel free to leave a review. _


	45. Rebecca Meets Wesker

Disclaimer: .. + -.. - + -. - - + - .- -. + .-. . ... .. -.. . -. - + . ...- .. .-.. + - .-. + - ... . + -.. .- .-. -.- + -.- -. .. -. ... -

_Thanks again for the reviews gang. I meant to update last night but my internet wasn't working. I just love computers (not). Anyway, let's move onto the fic. _

Chris and Rebecca exited the elevator groaning and eagerly running out.

"That tune was so annoying!" Chris whined.

"Tell me about it," Rebecca agreed, "And _somebody_ farted in there."

She glared at her team-mate, who merely shrugged.

"Wasn't me," he commented.

"You were the only other person in there!" Rebecca pointed out.

"Oh, so you're saying I did it?" he asked.

"Would you-"

The two stopped and realized that they had walked right before their captain, who was holding a gun at them, grinning.

"Chris," he spoke, "As my subordinate, you have wonderful talent. But not you Rebecca; you cannot play piano to save your life."

Rebecca frowned as her partner stepped forward.

"Well, _I_ would never work for a company like Umbrella," Chris boasted, "And Wesker, you were formally with Umbrella."

"Me neither," Rebecca added.

"Shut up Rebecca," Chris ordered.

Wesker raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Since when have you been an Umbrella agent?" Chris pressed, "And a traitor to the S.T.A.R.S?"

"Well," the S.T.A.R.S. captain answered, "My boss was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night he went off crazier than usual. Dr. Birkin got the T-Virus to defend himself, but Marcus didn't like that: Not. One. Bit! So, me watching-"

"Um, what?" Chris asked, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Sorry," Wesker apologized, "Anyway, my point is that yes, I _was_ with Umbrella, but I got tired of being ordered around by a drunk, so I'm taking on everything myself: including getting rid of you vigilante S.T.A.R.S."

Chris snorted, "Well you did a shoddy job, and now the worst has happened: the failure of the experiment created a virus, a biological weapon, which has polluted the entire lab."

"No," his captain disagreed, "The worst happened when Chief Irons hired a recovering alcoholic, kid fresh out of school, chicken, prostitute, bad-punned maniac, etcetera, _for the police force_. I almost believe Irons _wants_ our citizens dead."

"So that's why you tried having us killed," the brunette finally realized, "…you're the one who killed Enrico, aren't you?"

Rebecca gasped, "Really?"

Wesker smirked, "Yeah, like this."

"Like what?" Rebecca asked, shortly before being shot. She let out a cry as she fell over. Chris turned his head and stared at her.

"Rebecca!" he cried.

"Don't move, or I'll kill you" Wesker ordered, "Now then, I have something to show you. Walk!"

Chris reluctantly followed the traitor into the lab. After they were gone, Rebecca stood up.

"It's a good thing I wore this bullet proof vest, maybe I should help Chris and sneak up on Wesker…nah, I'll stand here and wait."

_A/N: I just couldn't resist, Wesker reminds me too much of the Joker. And seriously, why didn't Rebecca try and help Chris? She just kind of ditched him. Maybe that's why not too many people like her *shrugs*. Anyway, feel free to leave a review, and happy early Halloween!_


	46. Jill Meets Barry

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!

_Thank you again for the reviews everybody! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. More computer problems. I've decided I'm going to buy a Mac once I get enough money. Then I'll be able to do more Resident Evil Chat Room videos, and maybe even an animated series of this fic. Anyway, that's something to look forward to. Enjoy the new chapter!_

Jill and Carlos sighed in relief as the helicopter got off the ground.

"Thanks, you saved us," Jill told the mystery pilot.

"I couldn't let you become a Jill sandwich," he said, as he turned slightly. Jill's eyes got big as she stared at him.

"Is-is it you?"

"Are you ready to finish this?" he asked.

"Yes Chris!" she said as she latched onto him, "I am!"

He blushed as he tried to squirm away, "I'm not Chris; I'm Barry."

"Oh," Jill said disappointedly as she quickly pulled away and crossed her arms, "Well, you should've answered me!"

Barry sighed and shook his head as Carlos smirked. Jill suddenly looked out the window and studied the scenery one last time.

"Um, why is there a giant pile of Mentos in the town square?"

"You'll see," Barry answered as he concentrated on flying.

The three looked out the window and saw a rocket flying by with the Coca-Cola label slapped on the side.

"It's coming!" Jill exclaimed.

"No shit Sherlock!" Carlos snapped.

"Yeah," Barry said as he looked at his watch, "It's the end."

"Why do you need to look at your watch for that?" she asked.

"SH!" Carlos whined, "You're spoiling a good moment!"

The three became quiet as the Coca-Cola rocket struck the town square. A blinding light flashed throughout the area, and a wall of fire and fizz spread throughout the city, wiping out buildings and people as though they were made of paper. The shockwaves jolted the chopper forward some, causing Jill to scream. The three looked back at the giant mushroom cloud that now consumed the city.

"Mentos, the death maker," Jill commented as the three flew off into the sunrise.

_A/N: Yup, I've gone back to advertising products. Can't believe the two year mark for this story is in two weeks. I'd like to do something special to celebrate, but I don't know what. Ah well, I'll think of something. Feel free to leave a review. And to anyone who's served our country, happy late Veteran's day!_


	47. Jill Meets Nemesis

Disclaimer: I don't have ownership Resident Evil, but it's on my wish list

_Thanks again for the reviews guys and gals. To celebrate the two year anniversary I've decided to give you two chapters today. Will this fic reach its third year anniversary? At the rate I'm going, probably. Enjoy!_

Jill sighed slightly as she walked through the gates and gazed up at her placed of employment, the Raccoon City Police Department. Suddenly, she heard the gates squeak, and turned around to see her friend Brad covering his arm and soaked with blood.

"J-Jill!" he cried as he ran towards her.

"Brad!" she called back.

"CLAIRE!" a female yelled from nowhere.

The two looked around quickly, then ignored it.

"We've gotta-"

Brad was cut off by a giant monster in a trench coat jumping down in front of him. Jill gasped and stepped back as the monster roared.

"Jill! Help! Don't just stand there! Help me!" Brad yelled as she stood and stared.

He continued to scream as the monster picked him up and lifted him in the air. Jill of course continued to stand and stare. A tentacle then came from the mutant's hand and impaled Brad through the mouth. The monster then threw him aside.

"Wow," Jill commented, "It looks like Brad…got a mouthful!"

A crowd of laughter came from nowhere as she and the monster stood still. It died out after a few seconds.

"S.T.A.R.S!" Nemesis roared.

The laughter started up again, along with some applauding as Jill and Nemesis stared at each other. After it stopped, the monster began approaching her.

"Wait, how do you know I'm from S.T.A.R.S? Brad I can understand, because he was stupid enough to keep his uniform on even after he learned you were after S.T.A.R.S. members, but what about me?"

The monster pulled out a yearbook of the RPD, flipped through some pages until he came across her picture, and pointed at it.

"Oh come on, that could be my cousin! I could have thirty cousins that all look like me! Haven't you ever seen Pokémon?"

"S.T.A.R.S!" the monster yelled, which translated into: 'That idiot was calling you Jill!'

"So? That doesn't mean I'm the Jill you're looking for!"

Brad coughed and started to raise his head, "J-Jill! Help me! Jill Valentine, master of unlocking, sexiest member of S.T.A.R.S, please help me!"

Jill brought her hand to her face as the monster roared.

"Thanks a lot!" she yelled as she ran into the building.

Brad coughed and died as the monster punched at the door.

_A/N: I wasn't going to include the monsters in the meetings, but since Nemesis was all throughout the game and the game was named after him, I decided to make an exception. And how did Nemesis know that was the right Jill? Again, CAPCOM leaves us with more questions than answers. Enjoy the next chapter!_


	48. Leon Meets Kendo

Disclaimer: I don't own anything really

_Here's the second chapter. Enjoy! Note: this will predate the Claire Meets Kendo chapter since he died at the end of that one._

Leon panted as he ran into the gun shop.

"That was too close," he commented as he peeked out the window, "…_too _close."

"FREEZE!" a voice ordered as Leon spun around.

His eyes widened as he saw a man pointing a gun at him.

"Who are you? What are you doing here? When does '60 Minutes' come on?" he demanded.

"Hold your fire, I'm a human!" Leon pleaded, "Also, '60 Minutes' comes on in an hour. It'll be on for an hour."

The man continued to glare at him, then cocked his gun, and put it down.

"Oh, sorry about," he said dully as he walked over, "I thought you were one of them."

"What's going on?" Leon asked.

"Hold on," he growled as he locked the door, "I don't know, by the time I noticed something was wrong, I got bit on the wrist. I was getting a large fry at McDonalds for their Doomsday special, and I was bit."

"A zombie got into McDonalds?" Leon asked in shock.

"No, some fat guy with a slutty looking brunette got impatient. His daughter ran off after the ordeal," he explained.

"Oh," the rookie cop said.

The store owner cleared his throat and grumbled, "Anyway, I'll try and keep you safe."

"Why do I get the feeling you'd be treating me different if I were a girl?" Leon asked.

Suddenly, a crash rang out as the window broke. A herd of zombies walked through as the owner shot at them. Leon pulled out his gun and helped, and soon the monsters were all dead.

"That was too close," Leon commented, "…_too_ close."

"Yeah," Kendo panted, "I'm going to need to replace the window. Hopefully it doesn't happen again."

"Yeah, in the meantime I'm going somewhere more safe. Bye."

"Later," Kendo commented as the rookie cop left.

_A/N: Yeah, I decided to change the ending, pull a LittleKuriboh, that stuff. Yes, the McDonalds attack was a tie-in to the events in the Jill Meets Dario chapter. Am I the only one who noticed that Kendo was a bit indifferent towards Leon? Maybe it's just me. Anyway feel free to leave a review, and happy Thanksgiving! _


	49. Jill Meets Josh

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil…but maybe if I buy some shares I'll have a shot

_Thanks again for the reviews. I've decided to put off getting a Mac for now due to financial issues, so idk when I'll be updating the chat room series. Sadly it won't be anytime soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter. _

Jill felt someone shake her as she began returning to her senses.

"Hey, can you hear me? Are you alright?" a male voice asked, "Are you single?"

She panted as she pushed herself off the ground.

"Chris?" she asked as she looked up at the person. He frowned as her vision cleared.

"Why does everybody mistake me for Chris Rock? It's because I'm black isn't it!" he demanded.

Jill quickly apologized, "No no, I thought you were my partner…well, ex partner, Chris Redfield."

His eyes widened as he looked at her closer.

"Wait a minute, you are Jill Valentine! The master of lock picking, the defeater of the-"

"Tyrant," she finished, "Yeah yeah."

He frowned again, and changed the subject.

"So how are you?"

"Fan tucking fastic," she answered as she pointed to the holes in her chest, "How do you think I'm doing! Geez, can't you recognize an injured person when you see them?"

"Oh my," he said as he examined her wounds, "This looks bad."

"Do you think?" she snarled, "I only have blood coming out of my chest-I'll live! Who are you anyway?"

He held out his hand as an offer to help her up, "Captain Josh Stone, BSAA West African Branch."

Jill took his hand as he pulled her up, "I've got to say, I never thought I would get the chance to meet you."

"Thanks. So what are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for my comrades Sheva and Chris. Have you seen them?"

A gazed look fell upon her face, and her mouth was agape.

"I…I think…I don't know…wait…something's coming to me…"

"Spit it out!" he demanded.

"Yeah," she finally answered after a dramatic enough pause, "They went after Wesker. He's on some kind of tanker."

"I saw one go off shore a while ago. It had a Joker card design on it."

"That's his," Jill confirmed.

"Do you know where they're going?"

"Yeah, but it's too late," she grumbled.

He grabbed her by both arms, causing her to go into a bit of panic.

"It's never too late!" he said, "All you have to do is believe!"

He then threw fairy dust into the air. The two were silent for a second, as if waiting for something. Jill frowned as Josh looked disappointed.

"I'll go get us a helicopter," he sighed.

"Good," Jill said, "Is there room for one more?"

Josh smiled slyly, "There's always room for a beautiful lady."

Jill laughed and approached him, and he turned his head to the left.

"Janice!" he called.

She stopped as a tall shapely brunette walked over to Josh and kissed him on the cheek.

"Let's go," he told her.

Jill stared with her mouth open as the two walked into the elevator. She huffed and rolled her eyes as she followed them in, and the doors closed shortly after.

_A/N: I bet Jill now knows how all those people felt when she asked 'is someone wounded back there?'. I know she only says that once or twice, but it was dumb enough the first time. I half expected another chick to come by when Josh said that. Anyway, feel free to leave a review. _


	50. Chris & Sheva Meet Wesker & Jill

Disclaimer: אני לא תושב עצמו רשע**  
**  
_Thanks again for the reviews. I finally got a new computer: a Dell Inspiron Windows 7. The movie maker that came with it was…a disappointment. There were almost no effects and I couldn't find a way to upload any videos online. I downloaded Movie Maker 6.0 (Vista's version) and got rid of the Windows 7 Movie Maker, so a new Chat Room video is on the horizon. Now then, let's move onto the story. Read and enjoy!_

Chris and Sheva marched into the room and spotted the whorey looking brunette standing faced back to them.

"Excella Gionne, stop right there!" Sheva ordered as she and Chris raised their guns.

"But I wasn't moving," Excella protested as she turned around.

"Shut up!" Chris demanded, "Where's Jill?"

Excella grinned and shrugged, "Maybe I'll tell you, maybe I-ah who am I kidding? I'm not gonna tell you."

Suddenly, the masked woman in a cloak fell from the ceiling and nearly crushed Excella. She quickly turned and began attacking Sheva and Chris by kicking them around. In frustration Chris shot at her and the bullet knocked off her mask. The woman then did several back flips to dodge the bullets and landed firmly on her feet.

"Stop playing around, we want answers!" Chris demanded.

"You haven't changed," a voice hissed from above.

Chris looked up and saw his old rival standing on top of the stairs. The blond smirked as he looked down on him.

"Wesker, you ARE alive!" Chris growled.

"_This _is Wesker?" Sheva asked, "You told me he was ugly."

Wesker chuckled and walked slowly down the steps.

"We last met at the Spencer estate, wasn't it?" he asked. Chris stared at him in response, and he continued, "Well, isn't this just one big family reunion?"

"It sure is," an old lady wearing sunglasses said from the far back.

"Not NOW mother!" Wesker hissed. The old lady sighed and lowered her head. The blond shook his head and continued walking towards the cloaked woman, "I would expect you to be happier to see us."

Chris stared in confusion, "Us?"

Wesker smirked as he stood behind the woman, "So slow to catch on."

The maniacal blond pulled the hood back, and revealed the face of a young, blonde haired woman. Chris stared at her for a moment with his mouth agape.

"I have no idea who that is," he commented.

"IT'S JILL YOU DOLT!" Wesker growled. The duo continued to stare.

"Are you sure?" Sheva asked.

"It can't be," Chris commented as he shook his head, "she'd never wear that much clothing."

Jill frowned and lunged at Chris, kicking him in the face and sending him several feet back.

"Yup, that's her," he groaned.

Jill did a back flip in the air while Sheva shot at her. Jill landed and then wrapped her legs around Sheva's head. She did another flip which sent Sheva onto the ground. Then Jill ran towards Chris and wrapped her hand around his throat. Sheva quickly got up and put a gun to her head, only to be knocked away by Wesker. Jill tried to trip Chris and pushed him back, where he met up with Sheva as they held their guns up. Wesker stood beside Jill as he scowled at the BSAA duo.

"Now," he hissed, "let's finish this once and for all. I think the odds are fair; two on two? Right Jill?"

Jill didn't respond, but did a back flip as Wesker stood by monologuing.

"Seven minutes. Seven minutes is all I can spare to play with you," he said as Chris charged after his ex partner.

"You never spare seven minutes for me," Wesker's mother moaned from the back.

"Pipe down!" he growled.

Chris tried shooting at Jill, and then ran for a door, only to find it was locked. Wesker started coming after him with a smirk upon his face.

"Your future hinges upon this fight!"

Wesker then kicked Chris and sent him flying backwards through a door, and then another door, and then a wall. Chris got up and began running up some steps.

"Poor performance indeed!" Wesker taunted behind him, "then again you don't have Red Bull like I do."

"We'll never win like this!" Chris called to his partner, "We need to change tactics!"

"Alright, you fight and I'll hide!" Sheva said as she met up with him.

"How very brave!" Chris yelled sarcastically as he started shooting his ex captain.

After shooting for a bit the brunette had enough and ran to the bottom step and started punching Wesker repeatedly in the face. He then ran back up the steps and through a confusing hallway.

"You're merely postponing the inevitable, binky boy!" Wesker growled.

"I'll take care of Jill," Sheva offered, "You take care of Wesker!"

Chris continued to march forward and bumped into Jill, who started shooting at him. Chris shot back.

"Don't shoot, it's Jill!" Sheva yelled, "What are you doing?"

"Getting even!" he answered as he fired another shot.

Jill ran past Chris to get to his new partner and Wesker came out of the shadows.

"You can't hide forever!" he growled.

The brunette stepped forward and kicked Wesker's shin, which knocked him down. He seethed as he grabbed onto it with both hands and sort of rocked himself back and forth.

"Ooow!" he growled as he continued to grab a hold of it, "That hurts!"

Chris brushed past him to meet up with Sheva, who had a hold on Jill. Chris ran back when he heard Wesker get up.

"There's no point in-" Wesker said before being cut off by Chris' bullet, "AH! NOT THE SHIN!"

Chris once again brushed past him and restrained Jill, who was looking very annoyed. Sheva then wrapped her legs around Jill's head and flipped backwards, sending Jill onto the ground. The duo then ran out and entered a large room, where Wesker standing on some sort of balcony.

"I expected more of a challenge after all this time, Chris," he hissed, "How disappointing."

The duo stared at him and suddenly his phone started going off. Wesker pulled his cellular out of his pocket and brought it up to his ear.

"Oh hi Sherry," he greeted, "…what do you mean your date hasn't arrived?...A car crash, well how bad?...DEAD?"

"Go!" Chris ordered as Wesker walked off. The two ran up the steps and met up with Wesker and pointed their guns at him, "Wesker, stop!"

Wesker frowned and sighed, "I have to go Sherry; I'm busy destroying everything you know and love. Don't have another house party while I'm gone."

He then hung up and turned to them with a glare. Suddenly Jill ran up from behind and started attacking the two again. Jill kicked Sheva back and had Chris pinned with her boots.

"Jill, come on, it's me Chris!" he begged, "Snap out of it!"

Wesker chuckled as he approached the scene, "Good move Chris, but now that your 'partner' has arrived, I'll leave you two to catch up."

Chris continued to struggle as Wesker walked off, "Come on Jill, wake up! Jill Valentine, master of unlocking! Jill sandwich!"

Jill started to stop as a strange expression overtook her, "C-Chris?"

The blonde woman got off and took several steps away.

"Remarkable," Wesker noted as he held up a remote, "Still resisting at such an advanced stage."

The super human pressed a button, and music started to play, causing Jill to scream.

"_Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance!"_ a voice sung out.

"Commendable, yet futile," Wesker remarked as the music continued, "No more time for games Chris, I've got work to do. Have fun watching Jill suffer."

"Wait!" Chris yelled as Wesker went into an elevator, "How could you do that to her?"

The doors then closed and the evil blonde went off to do his thing. Jill screamed louder, and Chris and Sheva turned to face her. Her shirt ripped open revealing something red on her chest.

"What's that on her chest?" Sheva asked.

"They're called boobs."

"Not those! That red thing!"

"It's an I-Pod," Chris answered as Jill scowled, "We have to get it off her."

Jill growled and went after the two. They ran down the steps where she'd jumped down and was now running away from them.

"If we remove that device she might return to normal!" Sheva pointed out.

"Finally, an excuse to grab her bosoms!" Chris cheered.

Sheva scowled at him, but proceeded to go after Jill. Chris stunned her with his gun and Sheva grabbed her from behind. Chris shot at the device, making it spark a bit. Sheva then pinned her and Chris hovered above her, pulling on the device. It finally came off, with several wires being pulled out of Jill. Sheva stomped on it hard to stop the music.

"Ouch!" Chris commented as he looked at the holes in Jill's chest, "That must've hurt like hell."

And apparently it did, because Jill collapsed onto the ground. Chris went over and picked her up gently.

"Chris," she said as she opened her eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he assured. She then looked past him to see his new partner.

"You're Sheva, right?" she asked.

Sheva smiled in response, "Yes."

"Well Sheva," Jill said with a smile, which quickly turned into a scowl, "Stay the _hell_ away from _my_ man!"

She frowned as Jill got up and brushed some dirt off her.

"Listen, I'm gonna be alright" Jill said, "You two have to stop him."

"We just can't leave you here," Chris protested.

"You have to! This is your only chance! If Wesker succeeds the McBoros virus will be spread across the globe! Billions will be served death!"

"Yeah but-"

"But? There shouldn't be any buts!" Sheva said angrily, "Is Jill honestly worth more than the lives of billions?"

Chris stopped for a minute and thought.

"…maybe," he finally decided.

"I'm alright," Jill insisted, "You _need_ to stop him! Chris, you're the only one who can, before it's too late. Don't you trust your partner?"

Chris turned to face Sheva, who was looking angrier by the minute.

"I guess so," he sighed, "I'll do it."

Jill smiled as her old partner walked out into the elevator. She then turned to face Sheva.

"Take care of him," she pleaded, "but no touchie!"

Sheva nodded, and followed her partner. The doors closed, and Jill was left alone again.

"We are all screwed," she commented.

_A/N: There you go, the meeting you've all anxiously been awaiting. I was going to save this for the last chapter, but I decided to go with something else for the finale. Feel free to leave a review, and happy holidays!_


	51. Chris Meets Fisher

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil

_Thanks for the fantastic reviews everybody. As promised the sixth part of my Resident Evil Chat Room has been uploaded. Because YouTube kept blocking the videos in certain countries (and because they removed the audio for my new video), I created a MySpace account where you can see my videos and pictures. The link for that can be found on my profile page. Anyway, onto the new chapter. Enjoy. _

Chris and Sheva walked into a room, and a man wearing a turban held up a gun at them.

"You two," he spoke as he motioned his head, "This way."

The two stiffened and looked nervous.

"I'm not going to kill you," he said, "I just want to show you something."

"So why point a gun at us?" Chris asked.

"To add drama and intensity," he answered.

"That's stupid," Sheva commented.

"DO NOT MOCK MY WAYS!" the man ordered, "Now then, shut your banana hole and walk this way."

The two obeyed and followed the strange man as he spoke.

"Maybe because of the lack of-"

"OH MY GOD!" Chris exclaimed as he looked at a chunk of rotting meat hanging from the ceiling, "I'm gonna throw up!"

"HEY! Let me finish! Maybe because of the lack of government, people are living on edge. We're not used to having so much freedom. You should do what you came here to do and go home."

"They really roll out the red carpet for us Americans," Chris commented to his partner.

"Yeah," Sheva agreed as she looked at the carpet rolled out on the ground, "I think they laced it with gold too."

The man continued to walk until he came across a box.

"I have some weapons for you here, check them," he said.

The two exchanged glances, and Chris unhooked the latches. He screamed and jumped back as plastic snakes sprung out of the box. Fisher and Sheva both started to laugh as he tried to recover himself.

"I haven't had this much fun since my buddy and I sold weapons in Spain," he said as he wiped the corners of his eyes, "The real box is behind you."

Chris frowned, and hesitated for a moment. He quickly opened the box and stood back, but nothing happened. He found some guns inside, and took them.

"Destination coordinates?" Sheva requested.

"Ten squares up ahead," Fisher answered as he crossed his arms, "Alpha team's waiting there."

"Good," Sheva said.

He nodded, and then turned to face Chris.

"What do you know about McBuros?" he asked.

"Mostly just rumors," Chris answered, "Something about a Doomsday meal."

"Doomsday sounds about right, apparently it is no rumor," Fisher said.

Sheva looked horrified, "You're kidding, right?"

"I don't kid…okay, so I do, but not about this," he answered, "You must find a man named Irving. He's our only lead."

The two watched as he walked off. He stopped at the doorway and turned around.

"And be careful out there," he added, "There's fan girls."

The two nodded as he walked out. Chris looked back at the meat and turned green.

"Can I throw up now?" he asked.

"No."

"Darn."

_A/N: One down, four more chapters to go. I'm thinking about doing a fic depicting what the characters of my chat room videos were up to when they weren't online, but I don't know if y'all would be interested in that or not. Feel free to leave a review, and have a happy new year!_


	52. Jill Meets Richard

Disclaimer: I **don't** _own_ Resident Evil

_Thank you for the reviews everyone. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter. _

Jill walked into a hallway and spotted someone lying on the floor in a bloody heap. It took her a second to recognize the figure because of all the blood, but she finally realized it was Richard.

"Is someone wounded back here?" she asked as she walked to his side.

"Oh Jill," he answered as he turned to face her, "This house is dangerous. There are terrible demons—ouch!"

He put his hand over his wounds as Jill looked at him in sympathy.

"You're wounded!" she gasped.

Richard frowned and looked annoyed, "It took you until just now to realize that?"

Jill ignored him and continued talking, "What kind of demon was it? Cthulu? Leviathan?"

He shook his head, "Not an actual demon. It was a basilisk!"

"Oh my!" she exclaimed, "Richard, hold on!"

"It'll be fine," he assured with a smile, "Chris and Rebecca went out to get me some serum."

"How long ago?"

His smile faded as he tried to think back.

"…About an hour…I kind of think they forgot about me."

Richard then turned to face the camera, "Don't you hate when people forget about you? How they go away for weeks and weeks and leave you hanging? And when they come back all you get is a measly apology?"

Jill sighed as she stood up, "Don't worry; I'll go get it for you."

*Scene skip*

"Here's the serum!" Jill announced as she held a vial.

"That was quick," Richard noted.

He cringed as she shoved the needle in his arm, "I'll give you a shot now. Soon you'll be all better!"

"Thanks Jill," he said, "Because of you, I'll finally get to live and get out of this mansion!"

*Scene skip*

Jill froze with her mouth agape as the giant snake hissed and showed its fangs. Richard walked into the room carrying a gun.

"It's payback time!" he cheered.

The snaked screeched as he opened fire on it and slithered towards him.

"Come on!" Richard screamed, "Bring it!"

The snake lunged at him and swallowed him whole. The snake then began to slither towards Jill as she stared in horror. She screamed and ran out of the room as the 'memory' of teenage Wesker laughed from the shadows in amusement.

_A/N: Yeah, I decided to go with the remake version of Richard's death. I figured it would just be more ironic/funny for him to be saved by the serum to end up dying of something else/the same thing. Feel free to leave a review. _


	53. Chris Meets Dan

Disclaimer: I do in fact have no ownership of Resident Evil

_Thanks again for the reviews. I decided to go back and remove the censors from the chapters, cuz they do seriously look dumb, plus this fic should've been rated T anyway with the sexual content and drug mention. Anyway, read and enjoy._

Chris and Sheva kicked the door until it got knocked off its hinges and fell down. They raised their guns as they looked around and saw the bodies of the BSAA alpha team on the ground.

"What happened in here?" Chris asked a bit too calmly.

"They either got killed, or their parties are getting really out of hand," Sheva answered.

Chris looked across the room and saw that one of them was still moving. He ran towards the figure as he realized it was the team's captain.

"What happened?" he asked him.

Dan tried to catch his breath as he spoke, "We were attacked…by a black licorice monster… Irving, he got away. It was a set up."

"A set up?" Chris asked.

"Yes, Irving was a traitor…everything was planned from the beginning…"

"Wow, this seems kind of familiar," Chris muttered.

Suddenly Sheva saw a figure running in the hall out of the corner of her eye. Sheva ran towards the door and saw the figure run off.

"I think someone's out there," she pointed out.

"SH! We're trying to talk!" Chris spat.

Sheva huffed and crossed her arms as her partner turned his attention back to the dying captain, who had handed Chris a disk.

"I downloaded them from their computer. You've gotta get it to HQ."

Dan stopped talking, and leaned over as he took his final breath. Chris shook him desperately as Sheva watched helplessly.

"Hey! Hang in there!" he pleaded, "You're gonna get out of here! You're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?"

"CHRIS!" Sheva cried, "He's gone!"

He sighed as he turned to face her, and received an apologetic look.

"I saw someone, but they ran away," she said.

"And you didn't go after them?" Chris yelled as he stood up.

Sheva opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Chris tuning in to his ear phone.

"Kirk, we got the disk, but Alpha team is dead. Irving got away."

"_He got away?"_ Kirk asked from the other line.

"Yeah," Chris answered as he shot his team mate a glare, "Sheva here saw him, but didn't bother to do anything."

Her mouth dropped open as Kirk insulted her over the ear piece.

"_Ugh, she's such a moron! I'm docking her pay!"_ Kirk said, _"Get the data from the storage facility, and don't let Sheva screw it up!"_

"Copy that," Chris said as he hung up.

Sheva scowled at him as he walked up to her with a smirk.

_A/N: Seriously, this scenario was all too similar to Jill's encounter with the dying Enrico: being set up, someone being a traitor, a captain dying, and the perpetrator still being around but nobody doing anything to stop them. So apparently my upload rights for my MySpace page have been suspended because of a Yu-Gi-Oh AMV I uploaded, so I guess I whenever I upload a RE Chat Room video I'll just have to put it on Youtube and deal with it having no sound. Feel free to leave a review, and brownie points to whoever catches the reference made by Chris. _


	54. Leon Meets the Merchant

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil or the Terminator.

_Thanks for the reviews one and all. Yes, the reference made by Chris in the last chapter was from _Titanic_. Only one more chapter to go after this. This has been my longest running fic so far. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter. _

Leon heard a noise outside, and turned his head to look out the window. A cloaked man with a purple bandana covering the bottom half of his face approached the window and looked at him.

"Over here, strangah," the man said as he motioned to his right.

Leon walked outside and approached him as he carried his gun.

"Got sumthin' that might interest ya," the man said with a chuckle.

Leon screamed and covered his eyes as the man pulled open his robes. He peeked through his fingers and saw that the man was fully clothed underneath, and sighed in relief. The man had a lot of weapons and ammo, and some other merchandise.

"Got a good selection of things on sale strangah."

"I'll say," Leon commented, "Where did you get all of this?"

"Um…internet," the man lied.

"Okay, as long as you didn't get it from E-Bay…hey, how come your accent's different?"

"Uh…accent?"

"Yeah, you don't have a Spanish accent," Leon pointed out, "And your eyes are red, yet you're not attacking me. Oh my God, I know what you are!"

Leon pulled the bandana away from the man's face to reveal the familiar, chiseled features of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"You got me," he spoke in a thick, Austrian accent, "I'm not very good at Latino accents."

"So you _are_ a Terminator," Leon said as his eyes widened.

"Si," he answered, "I was sent here to protect you. In the future the world will be ruled by a man with cat eyes and a crazy cult, and everyone will be mindless zombies; except for a select few. I was sent back to prevent all that, by looking after the man who was present when it all went downhill: you."

"Wow, this is so cool!" Leon cheered.

The merchant frowned, "I don't think you grasp the seriousness of this situation. If you fail-"

"So do you have to do everything I say?" Leon asked, "Stand on one foot!"

"Shut up you fool!" the merchant ordered, "I am only here to provide weapons and keep you from getting killed. If you don't stop screwing around the world is doomed!"

Leon giggled as the merchant frowned more, if that were possible.

"I order you to go buy me pizza!" Leon commanded.

The merchant growled and pulled on his hair.

"Ugh! That does it! Just for that you have to pay for your weapons!"

"What? You can't do that!" Leon protested.

"And now you can't buy ammo!"

"Fine, I don't need your smelly ammo!" Leon spat as he crossed his arms.

"Leon! Shut the hell up!" Hunnigan yelled through his ear piece.

The merchant closed his robes and put his bandana back on.

"I'm not going to travel around with you! If you need my help, you can come find me! Hasta la vista, jackass!"

Leon blinked as he watched the merchant walk away.

"What? Arnold wait! I order you not to go!" he cried, "I ORDER YOU NOT TO GO!"

The merchant continued walking until he disappeared into the woods. Leon groaned as Hunnigan scolded him through the ear piece.

"Way to go!" she yelled.

_A/N: So apparently the merchant is infected with Las Plagas, but is immune to it. I guess you could say he's like Alice, except he's not a Mary Sue. The E-Bay bit was a tribute to _yeti112_. He does Resident Evil parodies on YouTube. Feel free to leave a review, and have a happy St. Patrick's day!_


	55. Rebecca Meets Jill

Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed, subscribed, favorited, and read my story. I know this fic has been going on for almost three years now, but that doesn't make ending it any easier. I just hope you all had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. I hope you all enjoy this last chapter._

Chris had rescued Jill and the two were now racing the clock so they could get to the helicopter pad before Brad decided to give up and leave. The intercoms made a fuzzy noise as a voice rang out.

"There is three minutes until explosion!" the computer announced.

"That robot needs to learn grammar," Jill commented.

Just then Rebecca ran up to the duo panting.

"I made it! I set off the triggering system to the bomb!" she announced.

"You sick bitch!" Chris yelled.

"Yeah, what the hell's your problem?" Jill asked.

Rebecca's mouth dropped open and she began to stutter.

"I-I needed to wipe out the virus," she explained, "I was just-"

She was cut off by several growls. Rebecca and Jill turned to face where the sound was coming from, which was where Rebecca had just come from.

"LOOK AT THOSE MONSTERS!" Rebecca yelled way too loudly.

"My ears!" Chris whined as he and Jill covered them with their hands.

The rookie looked embarrassed, but then raised her gun at the mutants. Jill took her hands off her ears and pulled out a gun.

"I'll take care of them," she stated bravely.

Chris started to speak, and Jill turned around to face him.

"No, don't try to stop me," she said, "You need to get in contact with Brad so you can escape."

Chris blinked and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uh, I wasn't going to stop you," he said, "I just wanted to know if I could have your TV if you died."

Jill frowned and lowered her arms a little bit.

"Oh…yeah…sure."

"Great!" Chris cheered as he walked towards the elevator, "Good luck!"

The two girls shook their heads in disgust as they went off to kill the remaining monsters. Chris pressed a button and rode the elevator to the roof top as he listened to the crappy music playing. He sighed in relief as it finally came to a stop. There was a beep as the doors opened, exposing him to the daylight and fresh air.

Chris took a heavy case out of his inventory and dragged it to the center of the landing pad. He opened it and pushed a button, then quickly scurried away. A flare shot up to signal for their rescue. He stared at it in wonder, but turned around when he heard the elevator door open. He held his breath for a moment, but then sighed in relief when he saw it was only his team-mates.

"Chris!" Jill exclaimed as she and Rebecca ran up to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Rebecca answered with a smile.

"I was talking to Jill!" he yelled, causing her to flinch.

The three then heard a pounding noise coming from the ground. They looked down and saw it starting to crack. The whole section of that floor then shot up into the air and the tyrant jumped up and landed in front of them. Jill and Rebecca started to shoot at it, but it swung its arm at Jill, sending her slamming against a wall and knocking her out…that happens to her a lot.

The monster then focused its attention on Rebecca, who continued shooting at it. Just then Brad came by in the helicopter and dropped a rocket launcher onto the ground.

"Here!" He announced, "Destroy the monsters with it!"

"How'd you pick that up and throw it down if you're piloting the helicopter?" Chris asked.

Brad remained silent for a moment as he tried to explain the plot hole.

"Hurry!" Brad yelled.

Chris obeyed and picked up the weapon. He placed it over his shoulder and aimed it at the monster as it charged after Rebecca.

"HEY!" he yelled.

The tyrant turned around to face him, and saw what he was holding.

"Get away from her, you bitch!" he ordered.

The monster let out a roar. He pulled the trigger, and the bullet flew towards it, causing it to explode into a million pieces on impact. Rebecca cringed as she tried wiping the blood and guts off from her, and Jill began to stir.

"It's just been revoked!" Chris quoted as he stared over the remains of the monster.

"Chris, can you stop quoting 80's movies and help me out?" Jill asked as she rubbed her head.

He walked over to help her up as the Brad landed the chopper. The three rushed on board as soon as Brad landed, and he began to fly away as the bomb continued its countdown. The clock finally reached its mark, and the mansion erupted into a ball of fire and debris, destroying the Arklay labs once and for all.

Rebecca yawned as Jill laid her hand on top of Chris'.

"You tired Rebecca?" he asked.

She smiled and lowered her arms.

"Sorry Chris, I am," she apologized.

"You did a really good job," he said, "This case was just too weird."

"You know what else is weird? This whole scene," Jill commented, "Seriously, with the music and acting this is almost like a soft porno."

Chris opened his mouth to speak, but Jill cut him off.

"Oh, and after watching our team mates die and almost getting killed ourselves, that's all you have to say? Really?"

Chris looked at his feet in shame as Rebecca gave him a look of sympathy. Jill crossed her arms and turned to face the rookie.

"So, who are you anyway?" she asked.

"Rebecca Chambers," she answered as she did a military salute.

"Lame," Jill commented.

THE END

_A/N: I decided to combine the scenes from the remake and the original game because the remake had more material to work with and the original was just so hilariously bad. I have a poll for this fic on my profile. You can vote for whichever chapters you enjoyed the most. I'm just curious to see which chapters are considered to be the best. Thanks for sticking by all this time, and have a happy Easter and/or Passover!_


	56. Leon Meets Helena

Disclaimer: I do in fact own Resident Evil: Resident Evil 0 through 6. Just not the rights.

_Here's a late thanks to those of you who reviewed chapter 55. I hope you enjoy the new meetings I have in store. _

…

Leon raised his gun to a figure standing before him. As he saw the zombified face memories began racing through his mind: memories of his last and final conversation with the president.

"_Bioorganic weapons are a global threat," the president spoke, getting onto his feet, "and we are partly to blame. We need to start working with the rest of the world and stop keeping secrets. I'm going to tell everyone the truth about the Raccoon City incident."_

"_And about your affair too?" Leon asked._

_The president frowned._

"_Uh…let's keep that between us."_

Leon cringed as the zombie president stopped eating his secretary and stood up.

"Stay right where you are!" Leon ordered.

The zombie ignored him and moved towards him.

"Mr. President!" he pleaded.

A second later the door to the room opened. Leon and the zombie both snapped their heads towards it to see a black haired woman enter the room.

"Sorry I'm late, there was a line for the bathroom and—AH!"

The zombie had moved towards the young woman, leaving Leon no choice but to open fire. A bullet went through the zombie's head, killing it instantly. The two looked down at the corpse in appall and disbelief.

"This is all my fault," the woman said. "I did this."

"No you didn't," Leon said. "I'm the one that—I mean, yes! It's all your fault he's dead! That's exactly what I'm going to tell secret services!"

The young woman sighed.

"We need to go to the Tall Oaks Cathedral. I'll explain everything there Mr. Kennedy."

"Wait, how do you know my name?" Leon asked. "Have you been stalking me?"

"Don't be silly! Leon Scott Kennedy…blood type A…"

Just as a disturbed look appeared on Leon's face a phone started ringing, and the tune 'Barbie Girl' started playing. Leon reached for his phone but looked up when the ringing stopped to see the young woman holding a cell phone. Leon walked over to see the image of Hunnigan on the screen.

"Hunnigan?" he asked.

"Thank God you're both alright," Hunnigan said.

"How do you two know each other?" Leon asked both women.

"That's Helena Harper. She used to water my garden until I offered her a better job. So, what's the situation?"

Leon bit his lip as he looked down at the president's corpse.

"Well, I've got good news and bad news," he replied. "Bad news is the president's dead. The good news is that I saved hundreds on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

Hunnigan gasped.

"Whoa, back up!" she yelled. "When did you switch to Geico?"

Helena did a double-take between the two.

"Shouldn't we be concerned about the fact the leader of our nation is dead?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's very sad, but Leon, tell me more about this insurance of yours."

"I don't have time for this," Helena grumbled.

She turned off the phone and put it up.

"Now, you and I need to go to the church. When we get there I'll explain everything."

Leon nodded.

"Mm hm, or, you could not be a bitch and tell me now."

"No, I'll tell you later. You won't believe me until you see it."

"Yeah, because at this point I couldn't possibly believe in anything out of the ordinary," Leon commented sarcastically.

Helena groaned and pulled out her gun.

"Don't make this difficult. Let's just go."

With that Helena got out her gun and walked off. Leon sighed and followed behind her, hoping things wouldn't get worse.

_A/N: There you have it; the first update in almost two years (has it really been that long? Doesn't seem like it). My goal is to cover all meetings from Resident Evil 6, and if they make a Resident Evil 7 I'll update for that too. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to leave a review. _


	57. Jill Meets O'Brian

Disclaimer: *Albert Wesker appears*

"Alright readers," he said, "I'm here to inform everyone that rockof90 does not own Resident Evil, but someday _I_ will! I will claim my rightful place as head of CAPCOM! Then I can destroy Chris once and for all!"

_Thanks for the reviews guys and girls. Sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I can't believe this fic has over 300 reviews now! Thanks guys, and enjoy!_

…

A man standing by the beach heard footsteps behind him and turned around. He smiled as BSAA agents Jill and Parker approached him.

"Ah, there you two are," he said.

"O'Brian, you don't normally join the fray," Parker pointed out.

"Well my doctor told me I need exercise. He also told me to stop smoking, but I'm not going to give that up." O'Brian brought a cigarette up to his mouth and inhaled it, then coughed. "So, I assume you both know that the FBC has cut off the entire area?" The two nodded, so he continued and the three began walking towards the beach. "Well over the past few weeks a number of mysterious creatures have washed up ashore."

"And you're just now bringing us out here?" Jill asked as they walked down the steps.

"Yes," O'Brian answered. "The FBC tried covering it up but they eventually just gave up and went home to play video games."

"Hmph, well anyone who knows what happened here is going to put two and two together," Jill said.

"Which is why you're here. Congratulations." O'Brian then turned to face Parker. "Did you pick up that new equipment from Quint?"

Parker nodded and pulled out a small, thin red object.

"Yeah, I think it's called the Genesis," he said.

Jill scoffed and put a hand on her hip.

"Did you even bother to read the manual?" she asked.

"Reading's for squares."

Jill rolled her eyes and faced O'Brian.

"Why is it called Genesis anyway?" she asked. "Doesn't Genesis mean 'beginning'? I thought this thing was just a scanner. It makes no sense."

"We thought it sounded cool, so we rolled with it," O'Brian said, flicking his cigarette. "Now, let's go scan some corpses."

Jill sighed and followed the two men onto the beach, where several giant blobs were laying around. The woman approached one of them and pulled out the Genesis. As she held it over the corpse a flap opened up on the scanner to reveal a tiny screen and a picture of the creature showed up.

"Globster, the water type B.O.W.," a voice from the scanner said. "This creature is just a giant version of the leeches created by Dr. James Marcus. Nothing more."

"Globster? How creative," Jill commented as she put the scanner away. "What next: a Jellyshark?"

"Hey, I'm pretty sure that thing used to be a person," O'Brian said. "Show some respect."

Jill rolled her eyes and walked around some more, with Parker following behind her. One of the blobs started to move around.

"It moved!" Jill exclaimed.

"Really? I couldn't tell," Parker said sarcastically.

The duo started shooting at the creature's mouth until it stopped moving. After killing it the two approached O'Brian.

"Well, now we just have to wait for the samples to get back to HQ," he said.

A ringing sound pierced the air and O'Brian reached into his pocket. He pulled out a cell phone and brought it up to his ear.

"Oh hi Sherry...What do you mean the pizza hasn't arrived?...well how bad?...DEAD? Well, it looks like you'll have to go get it yourself… I know it's a pain, but at least you won't have to tip anyone…alright, bye."

O'Brian hung up and looked back at Jill and Parker.

"Oh, by the way, Chris and Jessica went missing a few hours ago."

"WHAT?" the two agents screamed in unison.

"Relax, we have their coordinates," O'Brian said. "I texted them to you when you weren't paying attention."

Jill gasped and looked at her phone.

"They're lost somewhere in the ocean," O'Brian said. "They're either on a ship or in a giant whale. I've gotta go back to HQ. Take charge of the search and rescue won't you?"

Jill and Parker groaned. The two agents then headed off, leaving O'Brian by himself.

_A/N: I almost didn't do the Sherry quip, because I thought maybe it was becoming overused, but I just couldn't resist. Feel free to leave a review. _


	58. Leon and Helena Meet Ada

Disclaimer: insert comment disproving rights to the characters and storyline depicted below

_Thanks for the reviews everyone. I can't believe how long it's been since I last updated. The good news is I finally completed the 10__th__ part of my chat room series. The link is on my profile page for this site. I'm working on the 11__th__ part right now and plan for it to be the last video in the series. As always I hope you enjoy this new chapter. _

…

As Leon and Helena made their way throughout the catacombs under the church Deborah awoke from her slumber and started moaning. Helena stopped as her sister slid off her back. After getting her sister into a comfortable position Helena knelt down beside her.

"Deborah, just hold on, we're almost there," she assured.

"Actually," Leon corrected as he looked at his I-Phone, "it looks like we've got about ten more minutes until we reach the surface."

Deborah let out a final groan before she busted into flames. Helena screamed as her sister appeared to be melting. Leon let out a scoff and glared at Deborah's remains.

"Jeez, it's only ten minutes, no need to be a drama queen," he remarked.

"Simmons must have injected her with a virus! Deborah!"

The hardened substance surrounding the woman split open and a slimy object slowly rose up. Helena stared in awe while Leon cocked his gun, preparing to open fire if necessary. The humanoid rising up extended its arm out towards its sister, but before the two could make contact an arrow shot out from behind Leon and struck Deborah in the head.

Helena ran over to the knocked over corpse of her sister while Leon spun around to face where the arrow had come from. A familiar Asian woman sporting a red sweater approached him, holding a bow gun.

"Ada?" Leon asked.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," the woman commented.

"Honestly, I'm not surprised to see you. We keep bumping into each other," Leon stated, the memories coming back to him.

_Leon and Claire stood by the escape train, their guns raised up against a naked Mr. X, who had his claws out, ready to fight. No matter how many times they shot him it did seemed to do no good._

"_How are we supposed to kill this freak?" Claire asked._

"_Use this!"_

_A rocket launcher fell to the ground and Leon looked around for the source of the weapon and voice._

"_Ada is that you?" he called out._

"What? That's not how it happened," Ada interrupted. "You were by the pool of hot lead and Claire was off somewhere else."

"No, I'm pretty sure that's how it happened," Leon insisted. "I remember it as clearly as the next time we met."

_As Leon wandered around the Spanish manor, a woman in a red dress snuck up from behind him. Ada whipped out her gun and pressed it against his back._

"_Hands up," she ordered._

"_Sorry, but taking orders from a lady isn't my style," Leon remarked._

_With that the agent spun around and knocked the gun out of Ada's hand. Ada did a back flip and landed on her feet, then proceeded to pull out a knife she'd had attached to a holster on her leg. While she did this Leon pulled out his own knife and charged at her. The two then began an intense knife fight, with each trying to dodge each other's attacks._

"_What do you want?" Leon asked._

"_Just the sample Saddler developed is all," Ada responded in a gruff, masculine voice._

"Uh, Leon," Ada interrupted again, "I think you're getting that mixed up with your fight against Krauser."

"No, I definitely remember it happening like that."

_Ada had managed to get on top of Leon and was trying to get her knife at his throat. Leon grabbed her wrists and struggled to keep the blade at bay. Out of nowhere a bullet knocked the knife out of her hand. Leon looked up to see another Ada standing on a metal balcony above them._

"_Well if it isn't the bitch in the red dress," the disarmed Ada said._

"What? Two Ada's?" Helena said. "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."

"Hm, maybe my memory is a little off. Anyway, can you tell me what the hell is going on here?"

"It's complicated," Ada said. "It involves a lot of plot holes and clichés."

The earth around them started to rumble and shake, causing them to jerk their heads up in surprise.

"But now's not the time or the place," Ada said. "Let's get out of here."

_A/N: For a while I was debating whether or not to include the boss fight, but I decided that the chapter would come out being way too long and the humor would suffer as a result. Seeing as how _Darkside Chronicles_ is based on Leon's memories I can't help but wonder how Claire remembers the events. Let me know what you think about this chapter. _


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